Thought Catalog Agency

‘Contra-Dating’ Is A New Dating Trend That Could (Actually) Help You Find Love

Real quick: Picture your ideal partner. You know, your “type.” What do they look like? What do they do for work? What type of personality do they have? What are their hobbies?

Got your dream person in mind? Okay, now consider dating people who don’t necessarily align with that vision. That’s the idea behind contra-dating, the latest dating trend that could (actually) help you find love.

Essentially, contra-dating is approaching dating in a more open-minded manner, and giving those you wouldn’t normally “go for” a real chance.

The theory behind contra-dating is that your vision of your “perfect partner” could be holding you back from a healthy and lasting partnership. After all, if you only date the same kind of person, and it repeatedly falls apart, there might be a reason for that. This is because attraction isn’t always the strongest indicator for long-term compatibility.

Contra-dating doesn’t mean lowering your standards or compromising on your values and needs. For example, if you for sure don’t want kids, you definitely shouldn’t pursue a forever relationship with someone who absolutely does want children!

Rather, contra-dating simply invites you to be more flexible in your more surface-level “criteria.” For you, this could mean skipping the funny guy and going for someone more reserved instead. Or maybe you always date people in creative industries; try dating someone in the healthcare field. You get the idea.

By expanding your horizons in your love life, you welcome in more opportunities for real romance, not just the idea of who you could love. Contra-dating helps you to stop overlooking people with real potential based on snap judgments and give them a shot.

The point is that you never know until you try.