3 Red Flags He’s Cookie-Jarring You (And You Need To Cut Him Off)

Cookie-jarring is a new dating trend in which someone you’re into keeps you in their “cookie jar” while they actively pursue a relationship with another person. Essentially, you’re the backup plan and placeholder just in case it doesn’t work out with the other individual.

The worst part is that you usually have no idea you’re even in the cookie jar because they act like they want something with you (even though they don’t). And this is by design. That said, there are still some signs you can look out for.

Here are three red flags that he’s cookie-jarring you (and you need to cut him off).

1. He never invites you out with his friends.

He keeps you separate from his friends even though you’ve expressed interest in meeting them. Every time you mention finally going out with his friends, he changes the subject or gets visibly uncomfortable or claims they’re busy. You’re honestly not sure if his friends know you exist.

2. He’ll randomly go MIA for a few days and then pop up as if nothing happened.

You will see one another, text and call as usual, and then suddenly, he’s MIA for days without a warning. Then, just as abruptly, he pops back into your life as if he didn’t just ghost you for like 72 hours. He acts like everything is normal even though you feel like something isn’t right.

3. Your intuition’s alarm bells are going off.

If something feels off about him in any way, shape, or form, your intuition is sensing something. Trust your gut. Talk to him about where he stands when it comes to you both. If he gives you a wishy-washy answer, that’s all the information you really need.