Don’t Be Afraid To Take Up Space

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I would hold my breath as I would walk by anyone just so they didn’t even have to hear me breathe or notice me.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I would bind my chest down every day with ace bandages so men wouldn’t look at me with those prying eyes anymore.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that when I had a teenage ex-boyfriend say my blonde highlights made me look cheap, I proudly colored them in with a black sharpie.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I would stay in my bedroom and wrap a scarf around my mouth to make the temptation of eating anything disappear.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that when I showed up for cheerleading tryouts in freshman year, I couldn’t get my voice loud enough, so l never came back after that.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that if my friends told me my outfit looked ridiculous, I would go and change out of it and dress to their wishes instead.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I would let people pronounce my name wrong without speaking up to correct them—including my old therapist.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that my exes were able to treat and speak to me however they wanted because I would do anything to keep someone around.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I would look up to the infamous “thinspiration” blogs as actual inspiration and body goals for myself as a teenager.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I stuck around in a toxic friendship and acted in a way that didn’t feel right for me because I feared not having a friend in my life.

There was a time I wanted to be so small that I would let the opinions and perceptions of others dictate who I believed I was too.

There was many times in my life where I didn’t know my own worth, didn’t give myself the love or compassion I needed, didn’t know my own voice, didn’t know who I was because I was so caught up in trying to have others validate me and tell me who I was that I couldn’t find out for myself. It is very important to get to know yourself so nothing and nobody can come around and try to sway you out of your authenticity. When you know who you are, then that’s that—you are able to speak up and stand your ground because you recognize all that you embody and can accept it.

Please give yourself the attention and love that you rightfully deserve; do not be afraid to take up space and be big with your energy. Don’t make yourself so small that you don’t even have the space to meet all that you are. It’s a process but you are worth that every single day.