People don’t always show you their true colors when things are going their way, but you start seeing them for who they really are when your interests conflict with theirs, when you ask them to do something for you and they don’t, even though they promised they would, or when you suddenly start speaking up about what’s bothering you and they start attacking you instead of understanding where you’re come from. The truth is, you will never truly know someone or how much you mean to them until you disagree on something or until their loyalty is put to the test.
Because at the end of the day, their actions will always be a reflection of how they truly feel. Their actions will tell you the truth eventually; you don’t need to listen to their excuses and you don’t need to justify every little thing they do just to keep them in your life. When someone tells you they love you and they will never let you down, please don’t believe them unless they have proved that to you, because some people promise you the world only when it’s two feet away from them, and some people promise to stick with you till the end but then run away when you change the route.
The truth is, that’s how you filter your inner circle. As you grow older, you start seeing people for who they really are and you get to know who truly values you, who appreciates your friendship, who genuinely loves you and who truly cares for you. You start understanding who wants to see you happy and successful and who only liked you when you weren’t doing so well. You start understanding who meant what they said and who was blabbing words just to get what they want. Life will always send you tests, signals and messages that reveal to you the true intentions of those around you.
You don’t have to lose everyone who lets you down or disappoints you, but you have to put them in the place they deserve to be. You don’t have to keep someone on a pedestal if they don’t hold you in the same regard. You don’t have to keep forgiving someone just because you love them. You don’t have to keep fighting for people who don’t fight with the same intensity for you. You don’t have to give them special treatment if they’re not making you feel special.
It’s simple—sometimes you have to treat people the same way they treat you to protect yourself. Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself even if the truth might hurt.
So if someone’s actions don’t match their words, please believe their actions. Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t come up with stories to make yourself feel better. Don’t give them too many chances, because they will start taking you for granted and they will start losing respect for you. They will start believing that you’re okay with anything just because you don’t want to lose them. If you want your life to be more peaceful and less dramatic, start being okay with losing people who are okay with losing you and start seeing people for who they really are not who you want them to be.