Beware empty promises, and men afraid
To make any at all. Your life has no space for
You held power over me for so long. Not anymore.
I am worth so much more than you ever
Let me feel I was. I wish I had seen then
How sad it was, how lonely
You must have been to put me through such pain
And like a coward you shrink away
Every time I need someone, needed someone to
Care. You didn’t want to,
But you did. You said to yourself that I
Was nothing, to you, to anyone. But you are wrong. I am
Not nothing. I am
If only you had seen it then, so willingly laid out in front of you. If only
You had thought to grasp on. But it is
Too late. The storm is
Coming. The tides will rise. You will have only your gods to answer to.
Why did you let her go?
Will you still shrug off responsibility? Say you never had any claim to her?
The tide will take you anyway. She will whisper
“You never will.”
Do you understand?
Do you see what you have lost?
She is gone. To a place you cannot ever chase her. Do not dare
Cross her path, for if you do, I am afraid,
It is much too late.
Do you see me now?
Do you understand what you have done?
Do you think you’re better than me?
When you perceive what you think my life is, do you laugh?
Oh how the mighty fall, you may think. Directionless. Pathetic. Unlovable.
I rest. Away from the heat I heal. New wounds, old wounds, older wounds still.
Outside, I am the same. Inside I am reborn.
Rest is needed to bloom. I am not ashamed.
For when I do emerge, I will be ready.
Ready to rise.
The fire burns it all to ash so that the phoenix
Can rise anew.
I know better now, how men lie.
What they feed you, to gain just enough
Of your trust. Just enough
For you to start to sacrifice
Bits of your soul.
You barely notice because it keeps him happy
To see you so small. And then one day, too many bits have
you are but a ghost of yourself.
You don’t know who you are anymore.
Ruined cities, burned bridges.
Start from the beginning.
Why did you treat me like that?
I trusted you, but you didn’t care.
I gave you something sacred, you defiled it without a second thought.
You gave me just enough to keep me around,
A secret in your back pocket, only to be revealed
When all other options have been exhausted. Obediently I sat,
Eating your scraps, praying each night for more, jumped when you said so. Waiting,
For you to notice me. Once or twice I broke
Away, but you reeled me back. Besides, what
Other options did I have? Some attention from you was better than
No attention. Better than being alone,
Forgotten. No claim to anyone and no one to claim me.
But you wouldn’t ever claim me, would you?
“I never promised you anything.” And I never asked.
I know now what I deserve. One day,
Someone will be proud to stand by me. And you,
You, who hasn’t crossed my mind in months, even without
Another to cling to. You, who could have had all my love, if only
You had asked. But now, you,
Will be the one who sits back,
Hoping for a feast, but for you, I
Don’t even have scraps.
Don’t put yourself through hell
Just because it’s warm there.