Don’t wait a lifetime for them to propose. Make sure they know how you feel about marriage, and that you’re ready to take that next step with them, so that they aren’t confused about where you want the relationship to go. Make sure you’re open and honest with them about your expectations – and ask them about theirs. You don’t want to spend forever waiting for a proposal that is never going to come. If they aren’t on the same page as you about marriage, then it’s better you know now, so you can figure out what that means for the two of you.
Unfortunately, you could end up in a serious, long-term relationship with someone who doesn’t have the same dreams as you. Someone who genuinely cares about you but isn’t able to give you everything you need. Someone who makes you happy in the moment but is never going to make you happy in the long run.
You don’t need to get married in order to thrive as a couple, in order to have a beautiful future together, in order to make each other happy – but if marriage is important to you, you deserve to experience it. You deserve to end up with everything that you want. If this person has different dreams than you, you might be meant to head in different directions. You don’t want to sacrifice everything you’ve ever wanted for them – and you don’t want them to do that for you either. It’s better to be with someone who wants what you want, so there isn’t any resentment or lost dreams.
If marriage is what you really want, then you deserve someone who is excited about marrying you. Someone who imagines a future that aligns with yours. Someone who shares the same vision of the future as you. Even though you’ve already invested a lot of time and energy into this person, it doesn’t mean you need to stay. It doesn’t mean you already made your bed and are stuck here.
Just because you have been together for years, that doesn’t mean you need to stay together for even more years. You are always allowed to leave, even if it hurts, even if you love them.
There’s a chance that one of you will change your mind – that you’ll decide marriage isn’t that important to you or they’ll decide they’re ready to say their vows. But you can’t expect that change to happen. You can’t force it.
If your partner doesn’t want the same type of future as you, and neither of you are comfortable compromising, then you need to part ways. It sucks when you make a perfect pair in every way except one that is a dealbreaker – but you both deserve to live out the futures you’ve been dreaming about. You don’t want them to hold you back. And you don’t want to hold them back either. It’s possible to love each other, even if you don’t make sense together anymore. Even if what you want isn’t what they want.