When we think about what we associate with love, we tend to think of it in a macro sense. The big, spectacular moments we consider milestones, the signs the relationship is going to last and that it’s real.
We imagine the adrenaline rush of walking into the bar for the first date. The spectacular nervousness as we lean in for the first kiss. The moment we realized they were who we wanted to spend our life with. The all-encompassing joy of realizing we’re falling for someone who is falling just as hard for us.
We dream about the engagement, the wedding, and the honeymoon. But when it comes to love, we don’t really think about what happens when the honeymoon ends. We forget we eventually have to go back to the office to tend to the nagging deadlines, the bottomless inbox, the long meetings. We forget that the dishes need to be done and the clothes need to be folded and that the fridge needs to be stocked. Rinse and repeat.
But mostly, we forget that it’s within these little moments the real romance hides. We don’t usually associate these things with love because it feels unrelated. Love is supposed to be fireworks and butterflies, not tax prep and reloading the dishwasher after dinner. But if we neglect to see the opportunity for love to sneak into these seemingly ordinary instances, we miss out.
Here’s the thing: Life can be really fucking boring! And we think we can offset that tedium by punctuating it with spectacular Saturday nights, with extravagant dates, with romantic vacations. We think this is what will keep our relationships thriving but this is just not true.
It’s how we move through the everyday bullshit together that will determine how loving and successful a partnership is.
Fall in love with someone who makes grocery shopping fun. Fall in love with someone who gives you the aux cord on the way to your next errand so you can sing along to old 2000s jams together. Fall in love with someone who finds ways to make chores into a game, who offers to do the dishes since you cooked.
Fall in love with someone who turns the mundane into magic. Forever exists within the little things. Those are the moments you’ll remember most. These are the memories you’ll want to make more of. I hope you do.