Families are sacred, but not in the ways that you may have been conditioned to believe.
No, family is not everything for most of us, and no, they don’t have to be. You don’t have to be loyal to your family in the sense that those ties become more significant than your wellbeing.
They say family is blood, but for many of us, it does not aid in regenerative life force energy. Dense family systems can and are often the catalyst to finding such energies in ourselves though.
It is true that there are families whose lineages have energetically cultivated bonds that are deserving of those ideologies and who have earned the sincerity of those statements.
But often we find when we are on the healing journey that there are many families whose lineages have not. And those same ideologies when applied only perpetuate the masking of fears, shadows, and secrets that lie at the center of these family dynamics.
In those cases, love is not what blossoms the sentiments of family loyalty, but rather generations of fear and unresolved trauma entices our survival impulses to enmesh and keep quiet.
Loyalty to What is Unreal is Disloyalty to the Real You
For those energetically dense family systems, to uphold ‘loyalty’ is to upkeep pretense that things are not what they are and is a case of not being loyal to your own soul, which is without fear and without conditioning.
The part of you that is loyal to the pretense is the part of you still believing in your smallness. This confusion bleeds into the illusion that you are unable to expand out from this bigger entity you’ve been told is you.
Because for families like this, to step out as your own sovereign energetic being is to unravel a deep yet distorted belief that you must remain a cog in a wheel, responsible for the lives of the many others entangled in the same huddle.
Responsibility to others only applies when it reinforces wellbeing. Responsibility to a system that drains our wellbeing is something our souls do not want to uphold.
The Higher Selves’ Desires for Disruptive Change
If you are finding that you were brought up in this kind of distorted huddle, let me tell you that following the call of your own soul will not end the lives of your family members.
This is a real and subconscious fear that many of us have — that leaving the energetic nest and that pulling away from the secrets and lies will destroy who we may no longer be wanting to stay silent and unconsciously wounded for.
And it very well may come to a temporary eruption on the surface when we start choosing ourselves, but the truth is that underneath, all things that erupt have always discreetly been waiting to be changed in a drastic way, no matter how it may be seen in the 3D. I want to add that this does not call for hurting others because you were hurt though. We can be responsible for ourselves without the need to attack. And an eruption of change can also be gentle.
When you choose this self and generational healing, you are releasing so much energetic tension that has been simmering for centuries. There is a reason why volcanoes exist — because even the earth needs her perpetual release to establish new lands.
Piercing Through Energetic Vortexes
From a spiritual perspective, dense family lineages and ancestral lines are like polluted rivers. And for the soul that is ready to heal the aspect in them that still resonates, they are born into that river to unpollute from the inside out.
These are strong and willful souls determined to penetrate out from that river vortex to carve a steady stream for themselves. You may be one of them.
In this way, families are sacred in that they are rivers to mirror back to the soul what was agreed and wanting to be healed in this lifetime. They mirror the soul’s potential and might.
In this way, your soul is sacred to your family in this lifetime if you heal because you also naturally begin to balance the karma of the unconsciousness of your lineage as well.
We Choose the Muck For Lessons in Clarity
Your actual soul and its origins are actually already pristine and is eternal love. But the parts of it that has resonated with certain pollutions is the part also wanting to see itself more clearly through all the human distortions it has accumulated in past lifetimes.
The reasons why we choose to delve down into the muck is because we want to experience ourselves reflecting back ourselves. It is to ultimately unpollute our own densities enough to be the stream that opens up into its own pristine river, clear enough to reflect back the actual soul of the sky, its essential nature.
Sacred Gratitude vs Hazy Benevolence
When you hear the phrase that family is sacred, even from a spiritual lens, it is not to say that we should immediately give thanks and bear down on gratitude just yet. Fantasy bonding, in psychology, is when we cultivate ideas that our parents or families are perfect, untainted, or not to be questioned because of our need for survival, and we must be wary of that.
Fantasy bonds are forms of emotional bypassing and can easily bleed into the spiritual arena if we have not done the internal work first. Gratitude will naturally arise once we’ve done the work to heal, but if we haven’t, ‘gratitude’ can be a form of fantasy bonding that allows our compassion for others to override our compassion for ourselves, diminishing our ability to act on what is best for us as sovereign beings.
In order to not have those beliefs arise out of mere survival mode still, the sacredness we experience must first derive from the space we provide for ourselves. Sacred internal space is needed to be able to view external things as sacred lessons in a way that is not rose-tinted but visceral.
Sacred space is emotionally and energetically providing for ourselves first and foremost. Family is sacred once we can do this for ourselves because spiritually, unhealed families are launching points for our own soul’s healing and evolution.
Gratitude that expands us rather than keeps us contracted under a larger system comes hand in hand with the boundaries we learn to reacquaint ourselves with. We do not want to fall prey to ingratiating ourselves again to what does not truly give to us what we have not learned to give ourselves.
Your Growth is Sacred
Sacred growth is not one that we can intellectualize. Sacred growth requires time, water, consistency, tolerating sunlight, space, and self-authority.
Giving yourself ample land is ceasing the cycle of gravitating towards a familial dynamic that has never had nourishing soil to provide for individual grounding and thus growth.
We begin to see the sacredness and clarity of our own souls when we can excavate that soil in us and replace it with what is able to truly hold us steady, allowing us to finally break through to root ourselves, then to finely blossom.