Getting back together might be tempting, but you need to remember why you walked away in the first place. You need to put pause on the happy memories and let yourself replay the sad ones, the ones that break your heart to think about. Remember the nights when you cried yourself to sleep. Remember the fights when they used nasty tactics. Remember the broken promises and overstepped boundaries. Remember the reasons why you felt relieved to be away from them in the first place, why you told yourself you would never see them again. Remember why you deserve so much better – and remember that you made it this far without them. You can keep going. You can keep them in your past.
Getting back together might feel like a temporary solution to your sadness, but it could make things harder for you in the long-run. If they haven’t changed, if you’re still dealing with the same problems that tore apart your relationship the last time, then things are bound to end the same way. History is going to repeat itself if you’re both the same people in the same place with the same hopes and dreams for the future. Unless something has drastically changed, unless they have made a shift in their behavior or decided that they want the same type of future as you after all, then they could end up breaking your heart again. They could hurt you in the same exact ways. But you’ve already learned your lesson. You know how badly they could hurt you – so do you really want to give them another shot?
Getting back together might feel easier than searching for someone new to date. After all, you already know this person’s strengths and weaknesses. You’ve seen their good sides and bad sides. And they’ve seen yours. You might feel like the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know – but that’s not true. You shouldn’t settle for this person because you’re too scared of stepping into the unknown. You shouldn’t assume this is the best you’re going to get so you might as well settle down while you’re young. You should hold out for someone who genuinely deserves you. Someone who brings you true happiness.
Remember, you broke up with your ex for a reason. Maybe it was their choice – but now, the choice is up to you. You get to decide whether they deserve another chance or whether it’s time to move on once and for all.
Even though you’re allowed to forgive and forget if you believe this person deserves another chance, remember that they’re not owed your time or attention. You can ignore their text or tell them that you believe you’re better off apart. You can set firm boundaries and refuse to let them cross. Sometimes, your past belongs behind you. Sometimes, you need to make the hard decision today that will bring you the best outcome tomorrow. Sometimes, your future is meant to be filled with new people who are able to meet your expectations, not old people who have already disappointed you.