Cátia Matos

Go See What It’s Like To Love Someone Else And Then Come Back To Me

It’s Wednesday night—11:23 p.m.. 
I finally finished my work for the day 
And all I’ve wanted to do 
Is to lay on the couch  
In peace and quiet 
And write this: 

Living alone this last month  
I have had unlimited time to reflect and analyze every aspect of my life and the person I
I am capable of so much when I am left on my own 
I love being alone—I enjoy sitting with my thoughts 
Today I recognized—  
As much as the thought of us getting back together and finally getting to try being together as  adults sounds perfect to me,  
I need you to choose me, not just settle because I am your safety.  

I appreciated everything about you 
I accepted all parts of you—parts you’re too afraid to show someone else out of fear that they  won’t love you for who you are  

But they will  
Another girl will see the pureness in your heart and accept any part of you that you may not be  confident in sharing 
However, I need you to explore this for yourself  
Go and see what else is out there—see what it’s like to love someone else

And then  
Come back to me.  
Choose me.  

And if you do, I am ready for all of it  
I am ready to fall back into what we shared and to only fall more in love with each other
I hope the day comes when we choose one another  

The last thing I want is for us to choose one another out of fear of being alone
I don’t want us to settle  
I don’t want us to be together out of convenience  

I do feel confident that our love story is not finished yet  
No matter where it ends or how it ends, I can’t get you out of my head.