Here’s How Dating Can Destroy Your Confidence (And Why You Shouldn’t Let It)

At one point in time, you’re making plans. You’re tangled in bedsheets, laughing as you press snooze on your alarm clock. You’re smiling for photos and getting lost in each other’s eyes. You’re cooking dinner, meeting each other’s friends, sharing secrets. It’s crazy to say that you might be falling in love, right?

 Before you know it, you’re sitting there staring at your phone waiting hours for a response. You’re second-guessing every conversation, every interaction, wondering if you’ve done something wrong. You’re stalking their social media, wondering what they’re doing. They’re losing interest in you and there’s really nothing you can do about it. After all, it is 2022.

We live in a day and age where honesty is really rare and people’s motives and intentions are plain and simply confusing.

People can literally have hundreds of matches lined up at their fingertips every single night. How can we ever be somebody’s number one?

As a 25-year-old girl, I enter every romantic encounter with this in mind, because as a 25-year-old girl, I’m usually wise enough to know that this is how it works. People aren’t going to open up and be honest; people are always going to keep their options open and do whatever it is that suits them. Most of the time, your feelings don’t matter to somebody else, no matter how ‘in love’ you think you are.

Even with all of this in mind, I still fall into the trap every once in a while. The reality of all of this really does hurt. It washes away all of a girl’s confidence and blurs her eyes, making the view of romantic futures seem so very difficult and gloomy.

People will try to comfort you and try to make you feel better about the situation by saying that you’re a catch and it’s their loss. Although that’s 100% true, it still doesn’t take away the pain and doubt that these situations bring upon us. It makes a girl second guess every inch of herself, look at herself in the mirror and feel confused, diminish all of her confidence, and destroy her view of romance.

Why is it that modern-world dating has to tear you down like this? Why is it that honesty is so rare?

It’s heartbreaking that there are thousands of women like me who have an idea of great love in their minds. They so desperately want to feel the beauty of love and embrace that connection with someone; how unfortunate that those connections are verging on impossible to find.

As I sit here writing this, I’m empowering myself to get back out there and give it another go. I’m trying to give myself the advice I would give to a friend. After all, not all boys are the same, right? And every dreadful experience is one experience closer to a great one.