Alena Shekhovtcova

Here’s How You Begin To Love Yourself Again

We’re not really taught how to love ourselves. We see love in movies and fairytales and in relationships around us, but in many instances, it can be taboo to bring up—loving ourselves, that is.

But whether by accident or not, we are all introduced to and understand the basics of self-love. We all know as a baseline that self-love is centered around the idea of self-acceptance and appreciation for one’s own worth and value. 

But what happens when you lose this ability to fully love yourself? What happens when something shakes up your world and makes you question your worth? What happens when you’ve experienced heartache, abrupt change, or a total loss of identity?

You begin to question yourself. You begin to look inward as if it was caused by something you’re lacking. You begin to wonder if you are or ever were good enough. You begin to take away love from the one person who deserves it the most, yourself.

There is no shame in feeling inadequate. Or feeling weak. Or feeling like you aren’t exactly thrilled to be in your own skin at any given moment.

Because as much as the self-help books and quotes about finding inner peace may have an impact, we cannot deny the harsh realities of life. We cannot deny the fact that navigating and existing in a complex, sometimes cruel world may get to us. That the outside world may tear us down to a place where we feel unlovable, even by ourselves.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to admit. It’s okay to admit you are insecure and unsure of yourself, and at your lowest moments you may flat out dislike yourself. It will happen.

But regardless of how you may feel today or in this current chapter, you will begin to love yourself again.

You see, you don’t need to have everything aligned in a perfect reality to begin to love yourself. You don’t need to have the perfect circumstances or lifestyle or environment or relationship to begin to lend yourself some compassion.

You start to love yourself again by forgiving yourself. You start by creating routines for yourself. You start by setting boundaries on your time and who you let into your life. You start by adding more joy into your life. You start by saying no to things that drain you and yes to the ones that lift you up. You start by the words you tell yourself each morning. You start to love yourself again by sticking to the promises you’ve made and following through. You start by living authentically and focusing less on what anyone else may think. You start by caring for yourself the way you’d care for others. You start loving yourself by trying, even if it feels hard or challenging or too overwhelming to do.

Because maybe it’s words that came from someone else’s mouth that made you believe you are unlovable. Or maybe it’s the painful rejection you have endured, accumulating over time. But whatever you do, you must remember you are deserving of love. You are loveable. You are magic and a gift to this earth. You are needed—every single one of us is.

So maybe it doesn’t feel easy, but you’ll slowly pull yourself back up. You’ll slowly remember the fire you have inside you. You will slowly learn to love yourself again.