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Here’s What I Wish Someone Would’ve Told Me When I Had My Heart Broken

Sweet, wonderful girl. I know how hard it can be to wear your heart on your sleeve. I know that right now the world seems callous and cruel. I know you’re angry for wrenching apart your ribcage to bear your heart to another human, only to have them treat it carelessly and never offer you the same.

I’m so sorry for all the hurt and betrayal you feel right now. I know it feels like you gave up so much time to a person who was all too willing to walk away. I know you feel like what you had is tainted and you can’t bear to see the light in the darkness that is swallowing you up. 

Please. Please hold on. Hold on to the hope that you so fiercely believe in. Don’t allow this pain to harden your heart. Don’t believe the web of lies your mind is spinning out of your grief. You are worthy of the love you so bravely give. You are not less than because this person would not see your light in their darkness. 

I know it may seem rational to look for instant validation in the arms of others. I know it’s daunting to think of spending your days alone when they were once filled with the warmth of another person. You will find another heart to share yours with. You will have more first kisses, more heartfelt and beautiful connections. You will also feel more hurt, because unfortunately, you can’t have one without the other. 

Right now, I hope you try to stay away from the superficial connections that make you feel good in the moment and empty in the aftermath. I hope you learn to value your solitude again. I hope you find the courage and strength to love yourself the way that you loved her. 

You are safe in the empty space that this heartbreak has created. It may feel foreign right now. It may feel like you need to keep moving or you’ll drown. I promise you that is not the truth. It’s going to get better. You are going to come out on the other side of this a better version of yourself. This will be a catalyst for the most beautiful kind of growth if you allow it to be.

Right now, I need you to hold tight to your own heart. I need you to dig down into the messy parts and love them as hard as you can. Please, please hold together and give love to your broken pieces. I know it hurts right now. I know they feel sharp and uncomfortable to hold in this moment, but you need to wrap yourself together in strength. You need to remember that you are still the person you were when you were in love. You are deserving of all the things you are striving for in this life. 

Remember that you are loved by so many wonderful human beings. You are valued by so many wise and genuine people. Do not allow the perception of one person to dim your light. Do not allow this hurt to break you down into something that you’re not. 

Don’t become so consumed by your feeling of abandonment that you forget to be grateful for all the good in your life. There is so much good in your life and there will be so many moments filled with warmth and joy to come. 

This will not last forever. The hurt will ease and the darkness will fade. In the meantime, don’t be afraid to feel the heavy things. You will strengthen under the weight of them. You are strong enough to move through this, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. Allow your people to hold your hand as you navigate this.

This may be painful and terrifying, but you can allow this to grow you into someone even more resilient and courageous in the face of future adversity. We are wired to fear change. This is a lot of change. Your feelings are valid and they are useful. 

Don’t be ashamed of what you feel in this moment. Don’t apologize for wearing your heart on your sleeve. Be brave. Be strong. Hold on. Take it one day at a time. Work to seek out the light and warmth, but don’t be afraid to rest. This won’t be easy, but you have never needed life to be easy. 

Lastly, don’t forget to appreciate yourself and all the strength it’s taking to get through this. I promise, you will get through this.