Here’s Why It’s Good To Admit You Have ‘Parent Issues’

“I don’t want to be like my mom; I am definitely different!”

If you still think this way, that’s good news! Your life will be much better when you work with your “shadow” and realize and accept all of your mom (or father) in you.

We all have parts of ourselves that we feel pessimistic about, want to get rid of, or don’t want to acknowledge their existence cause it hurts too much. Remember the last time you felt anger, rage, shame, fear, or disgust that you’d instead not feel? Famous psychoanalyst Carl Jung calls it the “Shadow Self.” Why is it worth it to look closely at an uncomfortable situation? Because then and only then, the most significant rewards in life can be unlocked. By becoming aware of your shadow, you can neutralize it and use the freed energy to your advantage.

Indeed, when we suppress our emotions, they’re not going anywhere. They’re just brewing up and waiting to be let out like a boiling pot of hot water which can no longer be in a tight kettle, and rips of the cap spilling the steam all over. It’s not good to keep boiling your emotions. They will come out anyway but causing more damage. According to Psychosomatics, a physical illness or other condition is caused or aggravated by mental factors such as internal conflict or stress. 

Spending holidays with family is a perfect time to see your shadow self and examine your triggers closely. Here are the top questions I’ve asked myself to start learning about my shadow:

What triggers you in your parents? 

What things can’t you forgive?

You don’t want to be like your mom or father in what ways?

Which situations make you close up and withdraw and why?

What makes you angry?

How do you feel when other people around you are mad?

What things can’t you forgive?

What are you most afraid of and why?

What can’t you forgive yourself for?

What is the emotion you hate feeling?

What situations are you avoiding?

Please take time while answering those questions. You don’t have to do it all at once. Be gentle with yourself. Embrace any unpleasant feelings as they arise.