How To Be The One That Got Away

Sometimes two people are just not meant for one another. As badly as you want it to work, and how hard you try to keep it together, some relationships are not meant to last. Sometimes relationships end and it has us wanting to leave some kind of mark on the other person. You don’t want them to forget about you. You want to be the one that got away.

There’s something so haunting and so enticing about being the person who slipped through the cracks. This isn’t to say that being “the one that got away” is a game, but rather, a means of peace of mind. What happened to you was not your fault, but how you healed from it is your responsibility, as the saying goes.

Allow yourself to be the one that got away…and here’s how:

Stay silent.

Let’s say someone ghosts you. You will want to curse at them or ask, “Why, what happened?” You will want them to explain their actions. Although you do deserve answers and some sense of closure, don’t expect to get that. You might not get that from them either right now, or ever — and that’s a tough pill to swallow.

The best thing, I’ve learned, is to stay silent. Write your thoughts and feelings and everything you want to say to them in a journal or in a text to a friend. These people often know what they’ve done and are expecting you to reach out and talk. Don’t give them that satisfaction of being right. Don’t give them your energy or attention. While it would be great to have the last word and tell them how you feel, sometimes it’s not worth it.

Create a boundary.

As mentioned earlier, they are expecting you to react a certain way. They expect you to say something and to stick around. They know how you felt about them and they are using that to their advantage to keep you on the back burner — and they expect you to stay there. Don’t give them that satisfaction of being right. Instead, walk away.

Mute, remove, or block them on social media. Delete your text threads so you’re not tempted to go through them. Out of sight, out of mind.

Keep your distance from them not only emotionally, but physically too. Remember, your quiet actions speak louder than words.

Put your focus back on yourself.

When something like this happens, it’s inevitable that you will start to blame yourself. “I didn’t do enough. I did something wrong. If I had or hadn’t done x, y, z then things would be different.”

Stop. Sometimes, it’s that you didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, the trash just takes itself out.

You’re better off without them, so take this time to come back to you. Invest in yourself. Spend time doing things and being with people that make you happy. Don’t allow anyone to rob you of your happiness and peace of mind.

If you really want to be the one that got away, give yourself the respect you deserve and walk away and never look back.