Hassan OUAJBIR

How To Grieve The Living Dead

Grief.

Ah, yes.

Even the word feels heavy

Iโ€™ve been lucky enough to never have to grieve the loss of a loved one stolen by death

โ€ฆyet

But what do we do about the ones we grieve who are still living?

The ones who there is still a possibility we could run into on some side street somewhere?

What about the ones we run into because we both happened to go to what was our favorite restaurant, years later at the same time?

How does one greet the living dead?

With a smile? Or a hug?

Thatโ€™s what I didnโ€™t and I wish I hadnโ€™t.

But Iโ€™ll be gentle with myself and I hope you will too, because nobody really taught us howโ€”

How do you carry the memories around?

Where do the memories go? They never seem to float away and even though they fade

They still seem to stay

And lingerย 

Like ghosts

Once the specifics fade and we think weโ€™re safe

We smell their perfume on a stranger

Strange, huh?

How the grief thing lingersย 

And in that instant were transportedย 

and the corpses are thwarted and given new lifeย 

โ€ฆwhich tormentsย 

Us.

Steadyย 

Steady, now

Itโ€™s all in your head, theyโ€™re deadย 

After all theyโ€™re not even here or anywhere near you

Right now.

But for that fraction of second

Theyโ€™re resurrectedย 

Ah, yes.

Youโ€™re fine

Itโ€™s fine

grieving what could have been

And what wasย 

But thatโ€™s all romanticย 

Whatโ€™s truly insidious is seeing your loved one seem alive and be dead

Because they too still grieve and bleedย 

from their own old living dead.

And they canโ€™t help it

After all, nobody taught us howย 

Weโ€™re here

I am here

To give reprieve and ease the tension and aggravation from grieving the living deadย