I Don’t Want The World, I Just Want You

Before I knew you, I saw the world as a big, floating, confusing rock. I had big dreams of wanting to conquer the world when I was a little girl but realized that the world is made up of many other things I had yet to discover. But upon doing so, I was hurt so many times along the way. I saw what the world really is and I perceived it as an unfriendly place to walk into.

Until I knew you.

I realized that I didn’t need to have the urge to always put up my walls in order to navigate myself around the world. I learned to become more expressive and utterly vulnerable so that you could see the unraveled version of who I really am. I discovered that, like this big, confusing rock, you are made up of particles and atoms that take effort to study and learn. But despite all of your complicated and messy particles, I began to understand the world a little bit better.

I don’t want to see the perfect. I want to see the flaws and frailties, the good and the bad, the struggles and the bruised memories. I want to know the things that haunt you and understand that your ways of coping with these unfortunate events isn’t you being hostile and unavailable, but rather cautious yet sincere. Like this big, confusing rock, I want to explore your experiences, the things you’ve been through; the way certain people have treated you wrong but also those who stayed and looked after you until today. 

I want you to know that I’m a bit of an explorer myself. I’ll travel to your beautiful landmarks but also the ones that are busy and anxiously crowded with thoughts and people. I want to learn your cities, the complicated and busy areas that never sleep. In contrast, I want to get to know your silenced calmness. The hills and lakes during spring. Your blossoming trees that survived the coldness of winter. The private and secluded areas that kept you calm and settled. Like this big, confusing rock, I know that you have stormy seas. Moments of rage and anger. Angry and anxious waves that crashed against the shores, threatening the beautiful sands and pushing everything away that acted as support. 

But like this big, confusing rock, I don’t want the world. I don’t need to conquer it. I just want you.