I Have Finally Found My Redemption

Tick-tock time is slowly floating away

Cross off the calendaric memory, another lost day

Once gone, reality dies and fades to memories past

I’ve lost so much ground, started the race dead last

There is no regaining the fleeting, wasted years of yesterday

Forty years have passed, so much lost, nothing gained

This is the cost of a decade of youthful indiscretions

Wasted every opportunity, blew every first impression

The darkening of my mind, the withering of my soul

A sickness consuming my heart, I started a new role

A lifetime of sorrows were coming my way, decades of sadness

Years would be spent, lost drifting on a sea of madness

Raging waves crashing on my being, sinking me down

Icy fingers running up my spine with every horrific sound

Taunting laughter, hateful murmurs, vengeful intent

Wicked whispers, spiteful sneering, a life of lament

Every waking moment of the better half of a decade

Every second of every day, a labor of pain, a hopeless masquerade

It was a ball, I was the guest, my pain the celebration

The tormentors, every single member of the evil one’s nation

My family turned against me, or so it was that I believed

They wanted me destroyed, the love I thought they felt, I was deceived

Actors in a nightmarish play that was my very existence

The encore, my death, they drove me towards with awful persistence

But I was blessed from above to find my way out

Medical intervention helped me see through the cloud

A fog of madness, it was all just smoke and mirrors

My mind had conjured up a seemingly endless life of fears

But end it did, and the freedom came from my Redeemer

Alas, it was a process of 15 years, now in the past, I’ve never felt freer

But those years’ll never come back, I’ll never regain what could have been

So much lost, so much I might have known if I hadn’t gone ’round the bend

How does one get back half of a lifetime of stolen dreams?

How does one start to mend so many frayed and splitting seams?

So many memories that plague the mind, yet so much that could have been

Where do I put my focus? Memories of pain, or a life stolen?

I know who stole it, but my Lord redeemed me, can he give it back?

The devils I’ve known are now just a foggy memory, a recollection of past

Echoes of a life vaguely remembered, sometimes heard in the distance

Can I make up for lost time if I trust my Lord and share my witness?

My life is a tragedy, yet also a miracle, a gift from above

Countless times I tried to throw it away, I had no will, I tried to give up

He saved me from myself and also from the demons inside

And my gratitude is something I try to remember and will not hide

I found my sanity just as the world has lost its own

I watch society crumble and wonder, is this all a show?

Is my life a work of fiction, nothing but a two-part play?

An epic of madness, first inside, then spread to a world in decay?

I know not the answer, but I know this one glaring truth

My Redeemer saved me and to know him is what I must do

When tragedy and sorrow are so stained on your soul

It takes a Redeemer to come in and make you whole

And the madness of the world, or the madness of the crowds

Are all just noise, chaotic distractions from the destination in the clouds

A place of peace, a place where there is no sorrow or pain

No fear, no chaos, no more suffering for the insane, 

If I but accept His name