Tick-tock time is slowly floating away
Cross off the calendaric memory, another lost day
Once gone, reality dies and fades to memories past
I’ve lost so much ground, started the race dead last
There is no regaining the fleeting, wasted years of yesterday
Forty years have passed, so much lost, nothing gained
This is the cost of a decade of youthful indiscretions
Wasted every opportunity, blew every first impression
The darkening of my mind, the withering of my soul
A sickness consuming my heart, I started a new role
A lifetime of sorrows were coming my way, decades of sadness
Years would be spent, lost drifting on a sea of madness
Raging waves crashing on my being, sinking me down
Icy fingers running up my spine with every horrific sound
Taunting laughter, hateful murmurs, vengeful intent
Wicked whispers, spiteful sneering, a life of lament
Every waking moment of the better half of a decade
Every second of every day, a labor of pain, a hopeless masquerade
It was a ball, I was the guest, my pain the celebration
The tormentors, every single member of the evil one’s nation
My family turned against me, or so it was that I believed
They wanted me destroyed, the love I thought they felt, I was deceived
Actors in a nightmarish play that was my very existence
The encore, my death, they drove me towards with awful persistence
But I was blessed from above to find my way out
Medical intervention helped me see through the cloud
A fog of madness, it was all just smoke and mirrors
My mind had conjured up a seemingly endless life of fears
But end it did, and the freedom came from my Redeemer
Alas, it was a process of 15 years, now in the past, I’ve never felt freer
But those years’ll never come back, I’ll never regain what could have been
So much lost, so much I might have known if I hadn’t gone ’round the bend
How does one get back half of a lifetime of stolen dreams?
How does one start to mend so many frayed and splitting seams?
So many memories that plague the mind, yet so much that could have been
Where do I put my focus? Memories of pain, or a life stolen?
I know who stole it, but my Lord redeemed me, can he give it back?
The devils I’ve known are now just a foggy memory, a recollection of past
Echoes of a life vaguely remembered, sometimes heard in the distance
Can I make up for lost time if I trust my Lord and share my witness?
My life is a tragedy, yet also a miracle, a gift from above
Countless times I tried to throw it away, I had no will, I tried to give up
He saved me from myself and also from the demons inside
And my gratitude is something I try to remember and will not hide
I found my sanity just as the world has lost its own
I watch society crumble and wonder, is this all a show?
Is my life a work of fiction, nothing but a two-part play?
An epic of madness, first inside, then spread to a world in decay?
I know not the answer, but I know this one glaring truth
My Redeemer saved me and to know him is what I must do
When tragedy and sorrow are so stained on your soul
It takes a Redeemer to come in and make you whole
And the madness of the world, or the madness of the crowds
Are all just noise, chaotic distractions from the destination in the clouds
A place of peace, a place where there is no sorrow or pain
No fear, no chaos, no more suffering for the insane,
If I but accept His name