Иван Васючков

I Love You Like The Phases Of The Moon

In the dark of night 

And the early hours of the morning 

Where I find my bare self next to you 

A sliver of hope 

Travels through my mind

As you trace your fingers along my delicate and fragile body 

I hope there is something more to this

I never thought I’d see the day 

where I belong to someone else 

And feel comfortable

As we evolve we grow closer 

But my old habits make me cold 

As I struggle to define the line between us 

Wary of the dangers that lurk 

And the possibility that you may be someone else 

The past conflicts with the future 

As I may be using my old thoughts against my own happiness

I question if you ever think about me 

I go through withdrawals 

About being with and without you 

Because if this is love, it feels different

But I’m not sure yet

But I might not ever be sure

And if so 

That is okay

The pleasure of the being and nothingness 

Brings me new delight 

As I see the world through different eyes

But I know this time 

Who I am 

And what I deserve

Yet still you choose not to be it all 

And again it makes me wonder 

If your motive is to toy with my emotions

I keep getting to my old feelings

And yet i know it’s wrong 

Because this isn’t me anymore 

And it’s not the way i feel with you 

You tell me you love me 

And I say it back 

But i don’t know if i actually mean it 

I want to 

But it’s a dangerous game we are playing 

And if love is what this is 

I never thought I’d see the day 

Where I was comfortable in the arms of something so different 

but we can’t talk about our future 

Because we will never know 

You say you have a feeling 

But that means nothing to me

Because I’ve been there before 

And it’s not a nice place 

To try and dig yourself out of 

So please

Just be honest with me 

And I’ll try give my all to you