I Will Never Be Small Again

I learned to play small at a young age;

To not pose a threat to others, meant to have others around.

When you live your life that way for so long,

It becomes who you are.

Don’t be too pretty,

Too smart,

Too ambitious,

Too talented,

Too passionate,

Too clever.

Those are your sins.

Why would you want to make others feel badly about themselves?

Hide yourself.

Hide your magic, your sparkle, and your power.

Until no one would ever suspect you of any of the above.

Be pathetic, be tiny.

It’s more comfortable for all of us.

Be a victim.

People will really like you for it.

Until one day, when you wake up really angry.

But the only person you can truly be angry with is yourself,

For stifling everything within you for so long,

For putting a cap on your dreams,

And your depth,

And your life.

For seeing yourself, maybe for the first time ever,

Really seeing yourself,

Seeing your soul,

Your heart,

And the entirety of your beauty.

And suddenly, you feel a moral obligation to fight back.

To stand up for yourself, as yourself, with no apologies.

No hiding, no shrinking back down anymore.

Standing up as the YOU that you were always destined and worthy of being.

I know that I owe the woman that I am becoming that promise that I will not be small again.

No matter what comfort or safety net comes with the deal,

I will not be small again.

I will stand tall and be safe in my own arms.

And I think you owe that to yourself too.

For when we all outgrow our desire to be small,

And stop hiding,

We finally find each other there, in plain sight:

Human beings.

In all our beautiful madness and glory.

We are worth the fight.