Sometimes, people are being serious when they say they’re not ready for a relationship right now. They might need a little more time to heal their heart after a breakup, or maybe they’re swamped with work and don’t have time to dedicate to a relationship. But other times, this phrase is a cop-out. It’s a way to let you down easy without saying the words. Here are a few signs that they’re using this phrase as a way to hint that you’re never going to get together:
He won’t elaborate on what he means.
If you have no idea why he’s not ready for a relationship right now, and he has no interest in explaining it to you (or explaining when he thinks he might be ready in the future), then he probably isn’t interested. If he wanted a relationship with you, the honesty would start early. He would be transparent about what he’s going through so you didn’t run away before he was ready.
He is inconsistent with the way he treats you.
Even if he’s not ready for a relationship right now, he would treat you well if he was serious about pursuing a relationship with you in the future. If he only pays attention to you half the time, then drops off the face of the planet and ignores your existence the other half, he probably doesn’t care about whether you stick around in the future.
He’s getting what he wants – without giving you what you want.
He’s perfectly fine treating you like a partner in certain ways (and will gladly hook up with you in private), but he won’t let you treat him like a partner in other ways (and hold your hand in public). He shouldn’t be picking and choosing when you’re allowed to get close to him and when you’re not. That’s not fair to you.
He’s stringing other people along, too.
If he’s treating others the same exact way that he’s treating you, then you can’t trust that you’re going to date someday. After all, he can’t make a commitment to all of you. He’s stringing some of you – or all of you – along in order to get what he wants.
He never speaks about the future.
Even though he might hint that he’ll be ready for a relationship sometime soon, he never actually talks about the future with you. He won’t plan dates in advance. He won’t agree to go to parties and weddings with you. He won’t speak about his future like you are bound to be a part of it.
He shuts you out, emotionally.
If you only talk about surface level things, your relationship will probably remain surface level. If he wanted to take a chance on you, he would have to open up to you eventually. He would have to give you at least a little piece of his heart. If he’s giving you nothing, then he probably doesn’t feel the same way as you do. He’s probably not attached to you on an emotional level.