If they really cared about you, then they would put effort into loving you wholly. They wouldn’t keep making so many mistakes. They wouldn’t be giving you more and more reasons to cry into your pillowcase.
Your person is only human. They’re bound to make mistakes. They aren’t always going to get it right, but the important part is that they try. They try to love you right. They try to be there for you whenever you need them. They try to give you everything you deserve.
If your person keeps promising to make a change, but isn’t putting any actual effort into loving you right, then they aren’t rising to your expectations. They aren’t follow through on what they told you.
If they really cared about you, they wouldn’t make the same mistake more than once. After their first screw up, after seeing how badly they hurt you, they would be extra cautious – and not just for a little while. You don’t want to stay with someone who is on their best behavior when you’re mad because they’re scared you’ll leave — but who goes right back to treating you terribly as soon as you settle into the relationship again. You don’t want someone who only makes an effort when you’re already pissed, when they’re nervous you’re going to realize you deserve more and leave them behind.
Your person won’t always know the right things to say. They won’t always make the smartest decisions. But they will always treat you as a priority. They will always take your feelings into consideration. They will always treat you as an equal, a teammate, a true partner.
If they really cared about you, then you wouldn’t feel like the relationship was one-sided. You wouldn’t be wondering whether they mean it when they say they care. You would feel secure in your relationship. You would know, without a doubt in your mind, that they would do anything for you.
When you’re with the right person, they will put just as much energy into the relationship as you are. They will support you and comfort you and encourage you. They will be there for you, no matter what obstacles you are facing.
If they really cared about you, then they would keep their promises. They wouldn’t apologize for hurting you, then turn around and hurt you in the exact same way a few weeks down the line.
If they keep breaking your heart over and over again, you need to stop giving them the chance. You need to walk away and decide you deserve better. If they cared about you as much as they claim, then they would put more effort into changing, into bettering themselves, into treating you right.
When someone really cares about you, their apologies will be genuine. When they promise not to hurt you again, they will mean it. When they tell you they’re going to do better, they will follow through.
Everyone makes mistakes, but you need to ask yourself whether the person you’re with is actually interested in learning from those mistakes.