If you want her to stay, you need to show up for her. Like, actually show up. You need to be there, even when it’s inconvenient and tough and you’d rather be pretty much anywhere else. You need to be present. You need to hold space. You need to support her in the good times and the bad. You need to prioritize her.
If you want her to stay, you need to stop making excuses for falling short. You need to take accountability for your mistakes, apologize, and then make the necessary changes to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
If you want her to stay, you need to listen. You need to be engaged during conversations and not just wait for your turn to speak or talk about yourself. You need to hear the words she is actually saying and respond to them.
If you want her to stay, you need to make her feel loved. You need to plan dates and express why you’re grateful for her. You need to pay attention to the little things that make her who she is and find opportunities to celebrate those special traits.
If you want her to stay, you need to try like hell to keep her. You need to put forth sincere effort. You need to prove you care. Because she is already giving you more than the bare minimum.
She goes above and beyond for you. She not only remembers your birthday, but she also plans a surprise party with your favorite people. She not only understands your boundaries but reminds you to enforce them. She not only listens to what you have to say but asks you to keep talking when you really need to get something off your chest. She tells you she loves you in the little ways and the big ways, too. She apologizes like she means it when she screws up and then does better moving forward.
The truth is that she deserves a partner, not a project. Be the former, not the latter.
So, if you want her to stay, you need to give her more than the bare minimum. Because trust that she will find someone else who will if you don’t. The choice is yours.