I know it’s been some time since I’ve reached out to you. Sometimes I leave you hanging for a bit and that leaves you confused and feeling like you’re the only person that cares. It can be incredibly isolating and even worse when you feel alone in the relationship. And that can be damaging to what we have, and it can put barriers between who we are as people—it prevents us from communicating fully.
But I hear you.
I wasn’t always the best partner. I didn’t always reach out to you when I should have and I wasn’t always there for you in the ways you needed. I really did try to be there for you even when you felt that no one was there, and while I wasn’t the perfect girlfriend, I can understand how you felt. So when you opened up to me about how you felt for the first time, I couldn’t even believe I had left you feeling so alone all the time and that you felt like you were the only one trying, putting in effort, and giving a damn in this relationship.
My favorite part about you is the faith you place in others. I genuinely like how you trust others to be good-hearted people too. Many people don’t come with hearts like yours, something that is so untainted yet sees something marvelous about the world. Your idealism even for your lifestyle is really refreshing and shocking to see, because you weren’t always so optimistic or hopeful like this. I remember you being a bit more quiet and reserved, but funny enough, you found your way through life again and you really cheered up in the process. Because I’ve sorely missed your smile.
How you feel about people though is nothing short of extraordinary, because you really wear your feelings on your sleeve and your damn heart on the line. I’ve never seen you try so hard for someone you liked and I think that the genuine effort and persistence can be draining and tiring for you at times, but I promise, it pays off. I’ve never met someone resembling anything like you before because you’re someone who genuinely just gives other people their respect, time, and effort, and yet somehow, you do it pretty effortlessly too. Funny enough, I think you were always this way, and you were someone who didn’t really care how he was viewed by others, only that his intentions were pure and that he always had his best foot forward.
You were a great person and with flaws just like the countless human beings out there, but you weren’t always right in some ways. I think you felt wrapped around the idea that you were the only person who had all these undying feelings for people. I can assure you, however, I was just one of the people who reciprocated, and I felt the same way. Sometimes our ending bothers me because what we had was a problem of miscommunication, but that has never stopped me from loving you, and I know it never stopped you either.
It’s okay to feel conflicted, hurt, and pissed off. It’s okay to not know what you want to do from here, and that’s a perfectly normal feeling to have. You don’t need to have your life all figured out in neat boxes or figure out what you want in life. Heck, even choosing a girlfriend can take years, because there really is no time limit on your life; you are in control of what you do and you determine what happens from here—all of it is up to you.
A lot of the time, our relationship may have felt like a dead-end because both of us were stubborn and sometimes set in our own ways. I know it can feel pretty isolating and alone when you are the only person left with these heavy emotions. And trust me, I know it can be difficult to feel that you are the only person in the relationship who actually cares about the other person. But I know you have found relief and comfort in people and genuine friendships, and I know you’ve set your feet on a new path that has a bright future headed towards you, and for that, I promise, I’m so fucking proud of you. I am genuinely so happy that you were able to find your light, because it’s genuinely nice to see you smiling again. And at last, I can rest easy knowing that you are feeling safe and happy again and that really does give me some peace — I’m sure you’re happy too.