Important Lessons Your Situationship Can Teach You
If someone says they aren’t ready for a relationship, believe them.
You can’t make someone commit to you if they don’t want to commit to you. You can’t love someone into becoming who you need them to be. If someone says they aren’t ready to be tied down, they’re not playing hard to get. They don’t need more time to figure it out. They’re being upfront with you about what they’re looking for and you need to accept that.
Just because you have strong feelings for someone doesn’t mean it’s a sign they’re right for you.
Strong feelings aren’t an indicator that you’ve found your person or that the situationship is bound to become a defined relationship one day. Rather, strong feelings are simply information about where you’re at with this person. And if they aren’t meeting you there, then you need to let them go.
Closure is a gift you give yourself.
Because you never made things official, there is no anniversary and therefore no breakup date to commemorate what the two of you shared. This can make closure feel impossible to get because your time together almost feels like a fever dream because it appears it only existed in your mind. But what you had was real. What you felt was real. And if you can admit this to yourself, then you will find that you can give yourself the closure you are seeking. Closure is a gift only you can give yourself. And, to be honest, this is always the case, not only in ambiguous scenarios like a situationship.
Always be honest about what you want (and who you are).
Don’t say you want something casual if you want something serious. Don’t say you’re cool with going with the flow if you want a definitive direction. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to try and win someone over because it is never worth it.
Your feelings are valid, even if they’re not reciprocated.
You can still feel something raw and beautiful for someone without labels. You can still experience heartbreak without an official breakup. You don’t need to justify your feelings to anyone else but yourself because your emotions are always valid and they deserve to be honored.
Sometimes, you’re the one who is emotionally unavailable.
If you want a committed relationship but constantly find yourself in situationship after situationship, it might be because you are pursuing the wrong people because you are not actually ready for the right person. Maybe you’re fearful of vulnerability or terrified of losing love were you to finally have it. Sometimes, your situationship can show you that you’re emotionally unavailable, too, and that it’s something you need to work through before you find your person.