In 2023, Stop Sticking To A Timeline

Timelines are imaginary. You’re doing yourself a disservice by setting an exact age when you should put a ring on your finger or purchase your starter home or secure your dream job because everyone has embarked on different journeys. Everyone moves at their own unique pace.

Of course, even when you know that this is objectively true, that you aren’t in a race because there is no finish line, it’s still hard to ignore the concept of timelines. Not because they secretly hold value. But because everyone around you is treating them like the most important thing in the world. You don’t want to be judged by the family and friends you’re trying to make proud. You don’t want to disappoint them or cause them to worry because you care more about their perception than you do about your own sanity. You would rather look like you have it all together on the outside than experience true, authentic fulfillment that isn’t visible to their eyes. 

The notion that the people who really love you don’t care what you do as long as you’re happy is true, but these people might assume that timelines are the key to happiness. They might assume that you’re throwing away your chance at success because your idea of self-fulfillment looks different than theirs. They might assume that you’re making choices that will ruin your life when really, you’re constructing a life that fits this evolving version of you better.

It’s easy to say screw what strangers think. It’s much harder to wave away what the people who mean the most to you think. It takes courage to make choices that could upset them or raise concern over your well-being. But you need to make whatever decisions are best for yourself without worrying about how it will look on the outside. This is not selfish. It’s not heartless. It’s necessary if you want to get rid of that gnawing feeling that something is wrong, that you’ve inserted yourself into an existence where you just don’t fit.

Remember, it’s important to set goals for yourself. Important to challenge yourself. Important to picture your future and what you want it to contain. But you can’t predict when you’re going to end your journey and run across that finish line, and trying to force yourself to stick to a timeline that you have no control over will only make you feel like you’re failing — and you’re not. You’re trying. You’re putting in the work. That’s all that matters in the end.

Remember, timelines can only hold power over you if you give them power, if you allow peer pressure to brainwash you into thinking there’s only one right way to live. Your loved ones might worry about what’s going to happen to you when you first take the leap and decide to live a life outside of their boundaries, but once they see you thriving, they’re going to realize they were wrong about timelines, that you can live your best life without them.