Well, it’s been a wild ride guys. I turn the big three-O tomorrow! And I’m so excited.
Why? Because my twenties were pretty much everything I wanted them to be.
I won’t lie to you, the start of my twenties was rough. I had just discovered what it truly meant to have anxiety and had to figure out how to deal with that.
Then there was my super religious phase. At one point I literally freaked out because I thought God wanted me to become a nun. Spoiler alert: my response was a big, fat NO.
I won’t bore you with all the details of the decade. But I will leave you with some of the important things I’ve learned.
1. Life is really hard sometimes.
This is an obvious one but still warrants some advice. You cannot control the bad things that happen. All you can do is know that things will get better. It’s literal science. What goes up must come down and vice versa. More importantly, you are strong and can deal with anything that comes at you. I promise.
2. Do whatever the hell you want.
So long as you are not hurting anyone, do whatever your little heart desires. Most of the time, I regret the things I didn’t do, not the other way around.
3. Stop chasing people that don’t care about you.
I know this advice is hard to follow for some of you. One regret I have is not listening to it when I was younger. Basically, if someone cares, YOU WILL KNOW. You won’t feel confused, and you won’t feel the need to analyze every text they send or half-effort they put in. You. Will. Know.
4. Live on your own.
You don’t need to move out as soon as you’re legal. But at some point, move out of your parents house and live on your own. Get a roommate if it’s what works for you. You will still get the experience. It will make you more independent and overall help you become the person you want to be.
5. Get a therapist.
One of the best things I ever did was find a therapist. I went through a couple of them before I found the right one for me. Get started on finding one. Most people I talk to about this will say “I need a therapist” but won’t actually do anything to find one.
6. It’s okay to need medication.
Sometimes our brains don’t want to produce the right amount of hormones we need to be mentally healthy. And when this happens, we need medication to help our brains get the right amount, or just balance them. And that’s okay. Again, it’s literal science. Talk to your doctor first. Being mentally healthy looks different for everyone. Needing medication is just a piece of the puzzle some of us need to achieve it.
7. Let go of people that are toxic for you.
For me, this meant friends over the years that I had to let go of. Sometimes it was mutual and sometimes it wasn’t. You deserve to have people around you that bring you joy and peace, not anxiety and discomfort. Also, unfollowing or muting these people on social media is a big part of letting go.
8. Family really is everything.
At the end of the day, these are the people that matter most. Spend time with them. Tell them you love them. Don’t push them away. You just never know what life may have in store, and you will want nothing left unsaid.
9. The right guy will come.
Okay, this is a tough one to believe. I spent many years not believing it. But it’s true. It will happen. And it will happen at a time when you weren’t looking, maybe when it wasn’t even something you needed. And it will be everything you dreamed it would be and more. You deserve to have someone that loves you for exactly who you are. Absolutely nothing less. You are not too much or too little, you are just enough.
That’s all I’ve got for you—for now.
Here’s to dirty thirty!