Instead Of Being Sad That You’re Single For The Holidays, Let It Be Your New Beginning

When my relationship ended during the holiday season, I was devastated; however, part of me knew that it was not the end of the world. My mind immediately raced to the past years, how we had spent the majority of the holidays together and those wonderful memories we experienced. It seemed easier to let my mind gravitate towards the positive and happier moments and ignore the unbearable times and the struggles that would eventually lead to the breakup. Our relationship was shaky; being single taught me a lot about the things I was avoiding. It seemed destined that it all would happen around the roughest time of year, and it was that more meaningful. The holiday season is not only a time of reflection, it also preps up for what comes ahead as we look towards the upcoming year. Some things that you should consider doing during this time are: being gentle with yourself, showering yourself with gifts, speaking words of love to yourself, writing down the qualities that make you incredible, healing without fear, doing what you are passionate about, resting, and enjoying this time of year with the people you love.

If you are single over the holiday season, do not despair. See this as the beginning of a new journey into building a new lasting foundation that will transform and empower you. While things might be unbearable, do not forget to prioritize yourself and your well-being. 

At first, it may seem devastating to be single at such a time during the year, but it helps put lots of things into perspective. Being alone should not be considered out of the ordinary. The holidays should be a time where you can feel free and liberated to enjoy it the way you want. If you are going through a recent breakup, this is your time to rest, and most importantly, reflect. Showering yourself with gifts now can feel comforting. It does not have to be something out of this world; sometimes, even listening to an album on a streaming app or watching your favorite movies or television shows can be therapeutic. Time is a valuable and wonderful gift, so learn how to use it. If you can indulge during this period, you can give yourself anything you have been meaning to buy, as long as you do not go overboard.

Speak words of love to yourself. Through the hurt, we forget to show ourselves the love we need when we are going through a breakup. Every single day, make it a priority to tell yourself that you love and forgive yourself through it all. We tend to blame ourselves, to wish to turn back time, and desire a change, but at the end of the day, we should be patient and gentle with ourselves. Do not bring more pain in your life by blaming and causing yourself harm. Understand that life moves us in paths we need to take that will allow us to grow and become stronger in the long run. It is your time to become empowered, get your focus back, and discover who you are.

Do what you love during this time. If you want to consider starting a new hobby, this is the perfect time to get to it. Expressing yourself becomes imperative during this transition period. Do not underestimate your creative potential because you could surprise yourself.

Write down those qualities that make you incredible. Let’s face it, breakups can highlight the ugliest and most undesirable parts of ourselves. But sometimes, those parts we dislike might hold another meaning. Maybe being assertive scared our exes and now we can see that it is part of our power. Learn to admire and appreciate both your strengths and flaws. If you don’t find time to express words of devotion to yourself, you might fall deeper into the thoughts of the past. Don’t let them control you. Instead, look forward and enhance those qualities that make you unique and fearless. Also, understand the characteristics that you want in a partner moving forward.

Heal, heal, and do a lot more healing. Do not be afraid to cry; instead, make it your priority without holding back. Let it all out, and don’t be afraid to do it, because it can feel cathartic. This time is about healing and letting go before entering the New Year. Reflect, pray, read, write, do it all. Anything that can help you let go. We tend to romanticize the past, so make sure you always remember why this current relationship did not work out. Focus on the cold reality and those deceptive times in your relationship and use them as guidance to slowly begin the recovery process. If your partner had certain qualities you did not like, make sure to use this as a learning experience so that you can be more aware of the qualities you will seek in your future love. 

Finally, opt to take control of this time of year by visiting the people that you love and who matter the most to you. If you can’t do it physically, you can also do it virtually. I know I enjoy calling friends over Zoom to catch up now and then. But spending time with those you love can truly put things into perspective. Feeling the powerful and loving energy from others can change our mood, make us more confident, and truly remind us that we should value ourselves a little more.

The holidays can be painful. It is also a powerful time where we can prepare to feel renewed for the upcoming year. As we enter December, bear in mind that you are a fighter and a warrior. Do not feel bad if you are single and feel lonely during this time; instead, reclaim your power. Focus on love during this time; love yourself and show that love to others around you. And remember that you will get through this.