Is This How We Really End?

This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do

We take each other’s lines so I know you feel me too

You know, sometimes I wish I could take it back

So that you won’t have to feel bad

Wish I could forget your laugh 

And every time I made you sad

Went to Chili’s the way I want my baby back

When I held you I thought I’d never let go

The bell still rang and it was like “Ready, set, go!”

Let the universe turn all the umbrellas yellow

You feel it in waves so you rarely know

You say I’m the rock, I’m the safety

You have nightmares sayin’ “Please stay up with me”

Drove a thousand miles

Tryin to see you smile

Said, “Nah, it’ll be a while”

I ain’t know what that means

Cause I thought you mighta been my queen 

The one I saw in my dreams

OHB that’s how it feels to be the Side Piece

Nothing went down, no need to worry

Still had to take a shot like Steph Curry

I guess I’m sorry I’m not Thor 

But I really think I can love you more 

How come if we didn’t work out my heart still ends up sore?

Cause there’s way to more to come, lots in store

I thought it was maybe too good to be true 

The way after four years of silence you begged me to hold you

Could have been Stuck in Love 

But there was nothing you could put me above

I’m aware that I frequently come on strong

I end up saying a lot of things that come out wrong 

What was it that Robin said to Ted after prom?

I don’t care if I were the most important man in the world

If at the end of the day I mean nothing to that special girl

Maybe you forgot why you left him, though not for me

Felt like I reminded you what real love could be 

“I woke up thinking about your hug”

Not the type of thing to say when you’re dating a cool cat sorta thug

Building towns made out of paper

Gifted once to me and I returned the favor

Contains a giant plot hole like a Life-Saver

Could have been your shoes or could have been mine

Turns out Perks of Being a Wallflower had the better line

You said your autopilot started to fail

Good thing my services as copilot are up for sale

Should have pulled the trigger and got the turkey

Instead we continue with the future all murky

I can forgive being confused

But without communication, feels like I’m being used

Heart explodes without any fuse

Can’t clean it up, no more tissues

Our magazine is done, sold the last issues

I’m alien to many social interactions

I mix my logic in with my passions

I came through and wished to gain some closure

Pictures get blurry with too much exposure

First kiss was cliche as it gets; fireworks

Hope it wasn’t just full of air the way a tire works

So tired of hearing about how I’m this “great guy”

Because you still don’t choose me and I’ll never know why 

It’s got me thinking about how the worst part of our goodbye

Was that I thought it was temporary until our next “hi”

Couldn’t type it this time in case you’ve chosen poorly

And for that I’ll return to missing you the same way as before: sorely

This here was about finding truth

Now I find that my brain is loose

Told you I didn’t want some summer fling

Where we fall in love and then I don’t mean a thing

Round two was different when I told you vividly

I won’t look love in the eyes and jump away unavoidably

Sad you made both my fears occur very poignantly 

I don’t mean to make accusations very pointedly

It’s just that I need someone to understand the boy that’s me

You can try and make me look crazy but I’m immune to gaslighting

‘Cause there’s plenty of evidence for this stuff which I am citing

Clearing my head from pain is why I began writing

Preferred dark chocolate so you can’t enjoy my sweetness

Selflessly falling for your smile turned into a weakness

If you ever want to be together

I’ll have to hear you sing Forever 

Coming back around you better bring that ring

Next time is strike three, so you know you better swing

Of course this last part is exaggerated

Things often get overly complicated

You might say to yourself, “We weren’t an item”

Which is true except you’ve had feelings and failed to hide ‘em

You want to see me angry but I ain’t like ‘em

I was a window while you called me a mirror

I say things you really like but you reply with fear

Maybe right now your reality is distorted

However, this behavior could no longer be rewarded

Take him anew and we’ll get this all sorted

And if he breaks your heart again

I know I’ll probably let you back in

Those on the outside will think it a sin

They don’t understand everything we do from within

What kind of Christian doesn’t believe in redemption

Something given freely without exemption

Years spent living off a phrase; we were best friends 

Begging a question: Is this how we really end?