When you’re missing someone you used to love, it’s hard to move on. But it’s easier to be alone than to be with someone who treated you unfairly. You tell yourself, “I’m nothing without them,” but that’s far from the truth. Their words used to cut your skin like a knife, and you believed them. They are planted in your brain like a keepsake that won’t ever give you the freedom to leave that painful place. They made those words become real, and their lies about you are stuck to you like glue.
You ask, “Dear God, will I be okay alone? Will I survive without feeling the need to go back to the person who damaged me physically and emotionally and who wrecked my self-esteem?” The answer is yes. You will be okay. You will be okay on your own without their hurtful words and insincere apologies after they had jokingly said they would “pull your hair”. It’s okay to be alone when the world seems like such a small, lonely place at times. You have your friends, family, and loved ones who know what you have been through. You are single, free, and ready to love yourself without feeling ashamed of who you are and where the painful relationship has put you—at a crossroads in your life. But it’s okay to feel as if you need to work on yourself before you start a new life. Work on yourself and get to know you better. Tell yourself, “I am loved” and “I will get through this.”
Being alone is the most unselfish thing you can do for yourself. Most women feel as though being single, or just being alone in general, is the end of the world. But it’s about self-love. It’s about loving yourself first before anyone else can enter the equation. You miss the whirlwind romance, the security blanket that covers you up at night, or the flutter of butterflies you get when you see them. It’s easier to stay than to leave. But don’t worry, your life will change for the better because of it. For being brave, for leaving something that no longer suits you and let’s you grow.
Be wild and free, and let yourself follow the yellow brick road to a better life. Don’t be afraid to be independent when they made you dependent on everyone and everything. They are no longer in control of your body, your mind, your love, your soul, your freedom. Save yourself for someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved, to be touched, to be held at night through the ups and downs. That love is waiting out there for you, you just have to be brave enough to let it happen. When you’re ready to love again, be brave and do it for yourself, nobody else.