Thiago Matos

It’s Not Your Job To Fix What Someone Else Broke

It’s not your job to fix what someone else broke. It’s not your job to convince someone to see your worth or your potential or spend more time with you. It’s not your job to tell someone how to treat you. It’s not your job to keep making excuses for someone’s behavior just because you don’t want to lose them. It’s not your job to fix what someone else keeps breaking and hurting yourself along the way. 

Sometimes you get too caught up in trying to make things work in a relationship or a friendship that you end up feeling drained and exhausted because you’re the only one doing the work. Sometimes you give someone too many chances to act right and they still do you wrong. Sometimes you wait for someone to come around until they do, but they disappear again shortly after. Sometimes you put someone on a pedestal and they expect you to do everything for them when they don’t put in any effort. Being the only person doing the work will cost you your peace of mind, your joy, and your pride. You will end up feeling like you’re being used or betrayed or taken for granted and it will deeply hurt you. 

So stop feeling guilty for ending a toxic friendship or a one-sided relationship. Stop feeling guilty for cutting some people off or distancing yourself from them. Stop feeling guilty for treating someone the same way they treat you, and stop feeling guilty for losing people who weren’t afraid of losing you. You can’t do both jobs, you can only do your part and the rest is up to them. You can communicate, forgive, be present, and give someone your love, and sometimes it won’t be enough, and it’s not your job to do more so the other person can change their mind. It’s not your job to mend what the other person keeps breaking. 

People know what to do when they want something in their lives, they know how to win over the people they truly need, they know how to speak up or text or call when they need to, and they know how to confront and solve problems when they have to. People can convince you that they don’t know how to do all these things to take the easy way out, but the truth is, they do. They make the effort and they change when something is important to them, and it’s not your job to convince them that you are worthy of their time or commitment or respect. 

So stop trying to fix what they broke, because they know how to fix things and they know how to pick up the mess they’ve created. Your only job is to remove yourself from any situation, friendship, or relationship that doesn’t value you or appreciate you. Your only job is to walk away from those who constantly make you feel unheard, invisible, and treat you like you don’t matter. It’s not your job to fix what someone else broke, but it’s your job to protect yourself from all the ways they could wound you.