Just Say No To The Talking Stage

Stop texting and seeing someone you’re interested in for a few weeks or maybe even a couple of months without having any conversations about what the two of you are looking for. Quit “going with the flow” and keeping things casual when you know you signed up for Hinge to find a relationship, not a pen pal you go out with occasionally.

Because here’s the thing: If you treat a potential partner as someone you could take or leave, trust that they will respond in kind. And that isn’t how you start something you care about. In fact, that’s how you stop anything from happening at all.

This isn’t to say that you should force connection or rush intimacy and trust. It does mean that you need to be intentional, however. It does mean you need to be honest and vulnerable. It does mean that you need to see if you are a good fit for one another in the context of two people who want something serious.

After all, the way you would behave in a relationship would be completely different from a situationship or otherwise. For example, you wouldn’t leave a partner on read for three days without warning. You wouldn’t be disrespectful or intentionally vague in order to gain the upper hand. You wouldn’t cancel plans at the last minute because it was no longer convenient for you.

(Note: You shouldn’t treat anyone that way, but that’s a rant for another time!)

Anyways.

While you don’t have to commit to each other immediately, you do need to be able to gauge compatibility and you could never glean any insights from abiding to these arbitrary modern dating rules that honestly don’t make any fucking sense.

Enough with the games. Enough with trying to “play it cool” because you’re so terrified that admitting wanting something more would make you unchill. Enough with the bullshit. Enough with the talking stage.

Speak up for what you want instead.