Learn To Say No To The Things That Don’t Feel Right

At some point in our lives, we find ourselves struggling to say no. We find ourselves unable to reject requests and unable to set proper boundaries. We say yes to things and end up doing things that end up making us drained and miserable.  The reason we do this is because putting ourselves first is often a difficult task. We always find it easy to bury our instincts, to put ourselves second and to ignore our intuition.  We think of ourselves as givers, and we’d rather bear the discomfort of pushing ourselves too far than making someone else rejected or let down. 

But where does that take you? It takes you from one extreme to another, from saying yes to every single request until you can no longer give anything to others and even yourself. Saying no never meant you are unkind or selfish. Saying no means you honor your feelings and comfort too. It means you are not abusing yourself and it means showing others where to draw the line. It shows them that you have boundaries and you respect and value yourself. Saying no means you have standards, values, and self-respect. People often don’t know where to draw the line unless you tell them. It’s human nature.They keep on taking and taking until you give them a wake up call.

You’ve got to show them you are not a supermarket with unlimited groceries.

You’ve got to be prepared that some people might not like your boundaries or rejections or standards, but don’t let that discourage you. You are not meant for everyone, and not everyone is meant for you. A person who cares about you should value your well-being and should help you maintain it; therefore, if someone pressures you or fails to respect your decisions, then allow them to leave if they want to. Have the courage to be disliked. Have the courage to show up as yourself and say, “This is me, and I am not settling for less than I hope for myself.”

We spend a huge amount of time trying to please others, molding ourselves to fit their lives and requests until we no longer know what we want, until we feel empty and without a voice. And we can’t blame them because we are the ones who allowed them to get this far.  We are the ones who never said, “I don’t feel comfortable doing this” or “No, this goes against my values.”

Life will be full of testing moments, ones where our voice and thoughts have to be loud and clear. I am here to remind you that you are not a bad person for saying no, even if it feels like it. Let’s practice saying no more and saying yes to what feels right to us. Let’s take real good care of ourselves.