Let Me Tell You What Love Isn’t

I can tell you what love isn’t. I can tell you that it’s not accepting the bare minimum and that it isn’t someone telling you what you want to hear. I will tell you that it absolutely is not becoming a shell of who you are. Love is messy, but I think it’s when you find the best version of yourself.

Love is not solely reserved for your soulmate; in fact, I think we might have multiple soulmates. I also think the most important soulmate we can ever have is ourselves. Learning to love all the parts of ourselves (even the messy parts) is a necessary part of our paths.

When I was little, I dreamed of falling in love. I thought that would be the best part of my life. When I didn’t find it right away, I found myself wanting it even more. You see, the more we want something and hyper-focus on it, we stop living in the moment. 

I wish I would have capitalized on the moments when I was actually in love. Stop. I am not talking about when I was dating someone. I am talking about the moments of childhood vacations, best friend sleepovers, and finally learning to snowboard. These are not defining moments by any means, but they were moments when I stopped searching for something else and just enjoyed and loved life.

I want to wrap my arms around the younger me and shake her, let her know it’s going to be alright. I want her to know that every heartbreak doesn’t break you, it actually makes you grow into who you need to be. I want her to know that the messiness doesn’t define her, that it’s okay not to be okay, and that eventually everything falls into place.

I urge you to jump in with your whole heart. Love is messy and it doesn’t show up at the perfect time, but it will find you. Love yourself, your ENTIRE self, and never let anyone tell you that you are not good enough. 

I can tell you what love isn’t. It isn’t waiting around for your life to start. It isn’t a safe route and it certainly isn’t easy. I can tell you love is meant for you. I can tell you that love is accepting who you are and recognizing that you deserve the GD world. You are magic. I can tell you that love is right in front of you, just look in the mirror.