As a woman who loved someone that wouldn’t allow her voice to be heard, it is important that you know your worth. When someone tries to silence your words, it feels as if you are not important. That is far from the truth. So, what is the truth?
The truth is that you are not weak nor are you not worthy of someone’s true affection for you. It’s tough to build up the strength to leave someone who treats you as if you’re less than what you are. In all honesty, it’s even harder to leave a relationship that no longer can make you happy or someone who tries to overpower you with his words and make you doubt yourself. That’s what kills us, but also makes us stronger in the sense that we become immune to their abuse. We build up the confidence to eventually stand up to them and say, “I’m leaving you, and you can’t do anything about it.”
They can try to hurt us with their maddening glares and violent threats about wanting to bring us down and leave us feeling torn on the floor, battered and bruised. But we know that if we leave, it will allow for our voices to be heard and for us to be seen by someone else who doesn’t always make us fear them or keeps us in the quiet for so long that we want to literally die.
We become strong enough to leave what no longer makes us feel free and worthy of everything we actually deserve. If we are being told to shut up and sit down, that’s not a relationship, nor is it love. It’s abuse and it’s pain. Yes, we love that person, but not the person we have become because of them. So, we leave in hopes of becoming the person we used to be before we were with them. We become a stronger version of ourselves and share that strength with the women in our lives—our grandmothers, our sisters, nieces, daughters, and mothers.
Now, since leaving, we gain the strength to speak our minds with as much bravery and passion as possible. We don’t let them own our voices or our bodies anymore. We are capable of speaking for those who can’t speak because they were silenced by their significant others as well. We let their stories be heard through us and our past pain. We don’t dwell on that pain, but we make it our survivor story to tell the whole world. We are no longer prisoners of the toxic male misogyny that always plagued us.
We now hope that we find someone better, someone who listens and can handle our trauma. We want them to appreciate us not just as human beings but as women as well. If we don’t have a voice, then what is the point of existing? Honestly, I think that’s a good question to ask ourselves. Where do we begin to exist in a place that won’t allow us to be us or to have the human right to speak?
What shall we do, then? Should we grovel and let all the pieces of us come tumbling down? The answer isn’t simple nor is it an easy one. But all I know is that when we are stripped of our voices, we are no longer allowed to do what we want. All women should have the right to speak up. Our freedom is important, and that is something I strive for every day—the freedom to be who I am without shame or judgment from others. I am stronger now because of what I went through and other women should know that they are seen and heard. If we speak out loud and let our voices become free of fear, we are not letting them win.
If we don’t let them win, we are taking back our power, and that is the most important part of owning our own voices. We can allow ourselves to speak not when spoken to, and to speak when we feel something isn’t right. We can speak when we feel someone has done us wrong or there has been injustice. We can speak and never be silenced again. Hold on to that beautiful voice of yours and speak your truth. And never let it be taken away again. Be free and let your voice speak the words you couldn’t say for so long. And may all your words find love within.