You Don’t Go Back To Who You Were Before Them (And Maybe That’s Okay)

According to the law of conservation, energy cannot be created or destroyed. Also known as the first law of thermodynamics, the law of conservation says energy exists in a constant state and can neither become greater nor smaller unless there is some kind of outside interference that forces it to change its form.

I like to believe love is the same. While it’s often thought that love is a feeling that is created between two people, I actually think love is a type of energy that exists within each of us individually. And it’s because of the love we’re born with that we are able to connect with each other in romantic, platonic, and familial ways.

So, when we “love” someone, it’s not really a feeling as it is an exchange of energy. A shared experience. A mutual understanding. As the first law of thermodynamics states, energy cannot become greater or smaller unless there is some kind of outside force that makes it change shape. And when it comes to love, that outside force is one another.

This is why love as we know it is so transformative, especially the romantic kind. Because when someone enters our consciousness and is able to stir our own love awake and us theirs, we have no choice but to evolve. To grow. To become bigger in many ways and smaller in others.

After a breakup, you often want to go back to who you were before the other person. You may miss who you used to be before they entered your orbit. You may even wish you never met them at all. But here’s the thing:

You don’t go back to who you were before them. Shards of their love are now forever interwoven within your own. They were the outside interference, and you were theirs. But that’s okay. Because what you shared was real. It happened. It mattered. And that is a beautiful thing if you allow it to be.

Love changes you. If it didn’t, what was the point?