When you first start getting involved with someone new and are totally excited about where you two could be headed, it’s easy to read into all the “signs” that they could be as into you as you are into them and you could maybe find yourself in a relationship with them one day.
For example, you might think back to the dates when they said how much fun they were having with you or reference their routine good morning texts. You start to interpret these things as definitive signs that they’re totally on board.
But here’s the thing: none of this matters if they have not explicitly committed to you. And Nick Viall explains why.
The former Bachelor star and podcast host posted a three-part series on his TikTok entitled “It Doesn’t Frickin’ Matter, He’s Still Not Your Boyfriend.”
In the TikToks, Viall lays out some solid advice to people who find themselves in scenarios like this, also known as situationships. Essentially, the premise is this:
If they say they don’t want to commit to you, believe their words and don’t look too much into the “signs.” This goes for unspoken words, too. If they don’t outwardly say they want a relationship with you, they most likely don’t. As Viall says in one of his comments on his first video, “When they say they don’t want a partner, believe their words, not their actions.”
While it’s easy to get caught up in the specifics, do your best to look at the reality of the situation. Take goodnight texts, for instance. Viall explains this away as, “You can be polite and noncommittal at the same time.” And he’s right.
It doesn’t matter if you’re having sex, going on dates, or staying the night multiple times per week. If he has stated he doesn’t want a relationship, he doesn’t. If he hasn’t made the effort to start a relationship with you, he doesn’t want one. If he wanted to he would.
You can watch the full series below: