Lina Kivaka

No One Told Me That The Little Things Would Be The Hardest To Let Go Of

It was love that first night we met. Our hearts locked into one another. I never knew that feeling really existed. It wasn’t a fleeting feeling. It lasted for years. We almost made it to three wonderful years. These were the happiest three years of my life. It was not always perfect, but I was perfectly happy.

One day you decided you needed to be alone to work on yourself, or at least that’s what you said. You walked away from years of memories, good times, laughs, love, tears, and struggles that we had conquered together. You left. It broke my heart in ways I didn’t know were possible.

What they don’t tell you about breaking up is the little things that will break your heart the most. No one mentioned the hardest part would be the little things I wouldn’t let go of.

The empty bed and quiet house hurt, but it’s the things I didn’t think about missing that rip me apart the most.

Where you used to park your truck remains empty. There are no more phone calls on the way home from work. The random ‘I love you’ texts are nonexistent.

Sometimes I swear I can hear you yell “I love you!” from across the house like you used to.

I don’t buy your shampoo or soap anymore. I don’t consider what you want for dinner. I don’t make plans with you in consideration. I don’t do your laundry anymore. I don’t wash your dirty dishes. I no longer rinse your hair from out the sink. I don’t try to drown out your snoring when I try to go to sleep.

It’s the little things that I cannot let go of. It’s the things that I took for granted and didn’t know I would miss.