From the moment you came into my life, I knew that you would be going away any day. People grew older and things were never meant to stay the same. I knew this fully well, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel the pain.
You came into my life just a stranger and stayed as a friend. Now you were leaving with a piece of my heart and a certainty that in my mind, you would remain.
The little things you used to do decorated my life, like asking how I was in the morning, noon, and night. You cared in a way I did not expect and I loved the possibilities that lay ahead. Knowing I would see your face again was enough to get me out of bed, hoping, waiting, and anticipating that maybe this was the day that the stars would grant MY wish instead.
But your bags were packed and our numbered days were down to zero. The chapter of your life with me in it was over. I must bid you farewell and give you one last embrace. A new adventure awaited so I needed to let you go to your place. Go be free now and be who you really want to be in a whole new world without me.
You walked out of my life and I watched your back the entire time. You were excited and I could see the spring in your step. One foot after the other, you moved closer and closer into your new life and further and further away from mine. From where you left and from where I stayed, the distance grew and I could barely see your figure. One blink and you were gone, taking the last of my wishing stars with you.
The sky was now as dark as ever, making me question if there was even a tomorrow. I surrendered my desires to the silence of your absence. My days were plain and uneventful. I sometimes go to places we frequently went to, but now they felt abandoned, empty, and just not how they used to.
The sun kept rising every morning and life continued on. My heart was still beating even when a part of it was gone.
I still saw you everywhere I looked, from the same colored car you own running down a random street to a Japanese restaurant serving bad sashimi. I kept searching for you in a crowd. Sometimes I’d see boys with the same haircut, the same clothes, and the same bad posture looking down on their phones and pushing their glasses up their noses. I’d stare for seconds longer, hoping that maybe one of them was you. Perhaps you would turn your head and look me back in the eyes. Just a smile and I would run into your arms. Did you finally come back?
My eyes wandered to the pictures and videos on my phone. I yearned to go back to those moments when we felt like we had all the time in the world. The best years of my life were when you were in it and I admit that I don’t know how to go on on my own.
Don’t feel bad for choosing your happiness. This hurt I feel just means my feelings were real. Short as it may seem, our time together was worthwhile, and our memories were built to last forever. I’m nothing but grateful to have you for as long as I could.
I had my time to cry. Alone, I must face the days ahead.
“What do I want to do?”
I looked up and at long last, I saw a star tonight.
“I wish to have the strength to move onward. Take me forward to where I was meant to be.”
I’m ready to take that journey.