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30 People Talk About the Worst Relationship Advice They’ve Ever Heard

1. Testing Them With Pettiness and Ultimatums

To test how much they’d fight for me with petty remarks and ultimatums. Kind of like “you didn’t say you missed me” or “if you don’t come by today then I’ll have to move on.” I did not listen to them, and I’m glad I didn’t.


2. Dumb Tagline

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” That’s the dumbest, 1970s, movie tag-line shit I’ve ever heard.


3. Checking Loyalty

Those people who “test the loyalty” by hiring attractive people to flirt with them via Instagram. People have suggested it directly. please don’t. its all sorts of wrong.


4. Children

Have a child, it’ll make your problems go away and you can understand each other better.


5. Holy Not Happy

“Marriage is meant to be holy, not happy”. This was genuine advice from my (at the time) MIL while my marriage was actively failing and my then – husband manipulating and gas lighting me. And I believed it at the time. Fuck that, don’t structure your relationships around arbitrary external standards.


6. People Can Be Fixed

“You can fix him.”


7. Teasing and Hurting Equals Love

If he hurts you or bullies you its because he likes you… no its because he is an ass.


8. Wear the Pants

Always be the one who wears the pants

Horrible, horrible advice I got from my mom. She was super upset when I told her that we’re a team and that both of us wear the pants.


9. Stay For The Kids

Stay together for the kids.

It’s not in the kid’s best interest when the relationship is abusive.


10. The One

The whole idea of “the one.” Nothing kills more relationships than this notion of whether or not they’ve found “the one.” Have an argument? You start being paranoid they aren’t “the one.” Have a small personality clash? Start being paranoid they aren’t “the one.” Have different dreams or goals? Wonder if they are “the one.” Have different hobbies? Wonder if they are “the one.” I’ve seen so many relationships crumble because people are so damn quick to chalk up their partner as the “wrong one” as opposed to trying to work through problems like an adult.


11. Perfect is the Enemy of Good

I’m going to be even more frank. You don’t have to really like someone to start dating them.

I put off dating in high school because I figured “high school relationships don’t last” and didn’t want to waste my time. I put off dating in college since I was genuinely happy single until I noticed my friends dating in senior year and got jealous. And after that I was picky, turning down the few dates I had because they weren’t quite my physical ideal, didn’t have as good a job or education as me, didn’t mesh perfectly personality wise, lived more than a 30 minute drive away, etc.

You know where that got me? Without any meaningful relationship experience as a late 20’s dude.

Perfect is the enemy of good. Nothing wrong with trying to get a relationship going even if you’re not super into them, so long as you’re polite and frank.


12. Love Isn’t Enough

“If you both love each other, it’ll be okay in the end.” No it won’t. Love is not enough. And love can come and go. You have to put in a real mental and emotional effort. You need to make sacrifices. You need to choose to be there for that person even if you are mad at them or worse do not really feel the love for them at the moment. Nothing feels more amazing than to love and to be loved, but a long term relationship needs more than that. It’s why I believe team work and actual commitment is crucial, because the honeymoon phase will end. Doesn’t mean there won’t be any love, on the contrary, but it takes hard work and a real commitment from both. At least this is my opinion.


13. Bad Hair Advice

Give to me by a grown man in earnest Just the high points: women have a small hair that’s actually a nerve on the top of your vaginas. If you go down on them and bite it off. Later, add that one hair/nerve to a soup and you will get hella horny from the soup. You will be able to have sex like a stallion.

-16yr old me knew this guy didn’t know what he was talking about.


14. Follow Your Heart

“Follow your heart” While having the feeling of love is important, it can be confused with infatuation. If you have family or friends that tell you the relation is bad or isn’t going to work, take that into consideration. Try to take a step back and look at the situation. On a happier note, best advice I’ve gotten is “Love is a choice” The feeling will come and go. If you really want to have a long term relationship, you’ll have to chose to love when things are hard.


15. Jealousy Proves Love

“If they are acting jealous(for no good reason), it’s only shows that they love you.”

If your SO is getting jealous because you had coffee with your colleague that’s not love. These sorts of behaviors can become extreme and lead to abuse.


16. Don’t Go To Bed Angry

Don’t go to bed Angry. My wife would talk things out until 3 am just so we wouldn’t go to bed angry. It ended up not good because we just kept misunderstanding each other due to be so tired. She finally gets it is ok to go to bed angry and discuss the next day when we have had time to sleep on it/ not be so angry in the moment. Saved me hours of sleep in the long term.


17. It’s Supposed To Be Easy

“It’s supposed to be easy! If it’s ever hard, you’re doing it wrong.”

This was a twitter thread going around a while ago. Granted, it should be much more good than bad, but if your expectation is that a relationship will never be hard, the first bump in the road is going to lead to a panic-bail.


18. Being Encouraged To Cheat

People encouraging others to cheat, on a night out or he/she won’t know. We find out in the end.


19. Have a Baby

I think the worst advice I’ve ever heard is “if you’re having relationship trouble, have a baby together so you have something to love together and overcome the issue.”

Like, a) YIKES and b) my parents tried this resulting in my younger sister. Spoiler alert they’ve been divorced about 25 years now.


20. Make Sure You Make Less Than He Does

“Men are scared of women who have a higher salary and education than him. If you want a husband, make sure you earn less and don’t go to school” – some random relative who wanted to give me his words of wisdom. According to him, women who have a higher paying job/education are too stubborn and hard-headed that she won’t listen to the man lolol.


21. Happy Wife, Happy Life

“Happy Wife Happy Life”

That phrase is such BS. Healthy relationships are not one-sided and at times require compromise and work. Both husband AND wife need to work together to make a happy relationship.


22. Play Dumb

As a teenage girl in the 80’s my Mom told me to not come across too smart or too capable around boys because “you need to make them think that you need them.”


23. No Means Yes

My own mother told me that sometimes “no” means “yes.”


24. Lies

Just put up with the lies. Your dad lies all the time.

-My mom.

Well, that explains why you sleep in separate bedrooms.


25. Keep Waiting

“Just wait, you’ll find someone eventually.”

That shit is not helpful, ever. And there’s no way for anyone to know that.


26. Always Look Your Best

You have to look beautiful , you have to look good Or he’ll leave you and find someone else . It will be your loss.


27. Play Hard To Get

I’m a 63 year old female and when I was young, my mom gave me this winner – Play hard to get. Which I ignored because I wasn’t about playing games with anyone.


28. Stop Looking

Stop looking for a girl and you’ll find one… It’s been 7 year’s now! I think they tricked me…


29. Love Doesn’t Hurt

Real love doesn’t hurt, and it’s easy.

Bullshit. Love is going to hurt sometimes, and real love sometimes takes real work.


30. Possessions

My bio Dad telling my sister’s husband after they got married that “she’s your possession now” – we both flipped.

Women are people, not possessions.

Now you know why my Mum divorced you, you jackass.