Monica Turlui

Read This If You Ever Feel Like You’re ‘Too Emotional’

Maybe you’re here because a past love made you feel crazy. Maybe you’re here because you grew up in a family that didn’t quite know how to hold any emotions aside from joy and anger. Maybe you’re here because you’re a hopeless romantic who feels like they wear their heart on their sleeve. 

Whatever your reason, I hope you’re not here looking for a solution—a way to “fix the problem.” That’s not what this is. I’m here to tell you that you are not what you have been made to believe you are. You are not weak, broken, or a burden. I’m here to tell you that I understand. I know what it feels like to feel out of place because of the way you love and the way you care for others. 

I know it seems like every cut will bleed you dry because you don’t know how not to pour yourself into other human beings. I want you to know that you are not the problem. Your ability to open your heart and feel things deeply is not a curse. There are so many wonderful things that life will gift you for your vulnerability. 

Yes, the world can be a cold and uncaring place at times. We will cross paths with countless callous people along our journeys—people who fear emotion and refuse to sit with it. The last time you felt like too much for feeling deeply will, unfortunately, not be the last. For that, I am so sincerely sorry. 

I hope that you hold on. I hope that you find the courage to continue bearing your heart to the world. I hope that you find the people in this world who deeply appreciate your caring nature and your powerful empathy. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told that maintaining composure and suppressing emotions is a sign of strength. I was taught to fear my tears and to feel ashamed of my vulnerability. 

For far too long, I tried desperately to hide my emotions behind a wall of snark and sarcasm. If I was too cool to care, the world couldn’t hurt me. The rejections and setbacks couldn’t make me look foolish because I didn’t invest my heart into wanting anything or anyone. 

I’m here to tell you how wrong I was for trying to hide who I was. I’m here to tell you that it was never foolish to show my cards. If you genuinely want to feel fierce love and happiness, you need to be willing to show fierce passion and desire. 

It’s also worth noting that even though the hard emotions can be a suffocating burden to sit with, exposure is the best way to build tolerance. Yes, the things we feel may be impossibly difficult to hold at times, but I promise you that you are stronger on the other side of them. The things that ache right now will be a place of strength as you move forward in your life. 

It’s okay to fear the things we don’t want to feel—it’s human. Just remember that these feelings are temporary, and if you don’t deal with the pain, it will never truly heal, and it will affect your life in undesirable ways in the future. 

Please don’t let the world convince you that your sentimentality is a weakness. It is proof that you are among the most courageous. You are not measured by how well you hide your pain or your mistakes. You will not look back and regret bearing your soul. Even if you don’t receive the response you might hope for, at least you’ll know which people in your life can meet you where you deserve to be met. You’ll know who in your life can handle the genuine emotional depth and who in your life can’t. That, too, is valuable. 

I only ask that you not allow your emotions to swallow you whole. Sit with what you feel. Embrace it, even if it’s painful, even if it’s ugly. Don’t ever allow it to darken you or break your spirit. I know we all face things in this life that feel unbearable. I won’t tell you that feeling those things will be easy. Sitting with what we feel can be so daunting and difficult. It can seem impossible, and the thought of shoving those things down can seem blissfully appealing. 

Sit with your feelings anyway. Allow yourself to feel the weight of your emotions without guilt. Allowing yourself to feel will open doors to a healthy relationship with yourself. Give yourself the love and patience that so many in this world crave. You deserve to be loved as deeply as you love others. I swear that the right people will see your emotions for what they are—an expression of bravery and a healthy relationship with your feelings.