The way marriage is portrayed in movies and books romanticizes everything in a way that actually makes you want it. In reality, though, the thought of marriage is scarier that one might think. Marriage isn’t just about planning the perfect wedding. It’s not stressing over floral arrangements, the perfect wedding rings, or the most breathtaking dress. No, marriage is a lifetime commitment—one wrong move and you end up screwing everything up. This is why the concept of marriage is so scary and sacred and intimate and raw and so vulnerable that you want to run away from it all.
If you’re scared of getting married, I hope you know that this doesn’t make you a bad person. This makes you human. Whether you’re single and don’t see yourself marrying anyone or are in a relationship and the thought of marriage just makes you feel like throwing up, that’s okay. It’s a pretty rational fear to have.
But what I want you to remember is this:
Marriage can be the scariest thing. But it can also be a beautiful thing. When you find the right person and marry them, you’re essentially building a life with your best friend and soulmate. Yes, it will be hard work, but there will also be rewarding moments that are filled with bliss and euphoria and laughter until your stomach starts to ache. There will be moments where you stand there in awe of them and your heart fills with so much love because you can’t believe you’re married to the love of your life. There will be moments where you get to be the living testimony to your loved ones that love can genuinely last a lifetime without an ounce of hidden regret, resentment, and anger in your marriage.
Marriage can truly be boring. In fact, most days will be mundane and stale and rigid. But there will also be moments you’ll be overwhelmed by how much you love the person sleeping next to you. You’ll be reminded of every I love you, every sacrifice, every compromise, every moment of vulnerability when you showed them your soul inside out. You’ll be reminded why exactly this person is your best friend and why you’d choose to laugh beside them in moments that count than with anyone else.
Marriage can be full of responsibilities. But don’t all relationships require effort, sacrifice, and compromise to work? If you fear all the hard and uncomfortable things in life, you’ll never get to the happiest moments in your life. Marriage may be filled with arguments on who’s turn it is to wash the dishes or feeling like your entire life is planned out for you, but there’s no better feeling than having someone by your side every step of the way. In order for a marriage to work, it takes bravery and courage to choose to love them every single day. Not out of obligation, but out of so much love for them.
So is marriage scary? Yes, it’s the scariest thing you’ll ever get yourself into. If anything, you should be scared shitless with the thought of marriage. Only when you’re scared do you really know that it matters. If you know that the person you’d be saying “I do” to is your absolute best friend and favorite person in life, marry them against your fears. If you know that every fiber of your being is concrete with the idea of a forever with them, be brave enough to go do it. Or better yet, face your fears while holding their hand. Because the truth is, you’ll never stop being afraid, but at least, you’ll no longer be alone in those fears. Essentially, that’s what marriage is truly about: a life of partnership.