Read This When You Feel Like You Have Nothing Left

So you feel like you have nothing left in the tank; a piece of thread is unraveling and it won’t quit. Everything that you once thought was sewn to perfection never to be ripped apart is, day by day, losing its strength before your very eyes. You have no control. You feel like just another brick in the wall whilst they chuck bricks at your walls.

Life passes you by at a million miles an hour, yet you trudge and meander slowly through the peaks and troughs of the everyday. Your friends are in relationships, laughing, smiling, kissing, dancing. They’re big city dreamers, stable and steady, attacking life in ways without a worry or a second thought. A third wheel and a spare part is what you feel you are, hanging on to the look of someone else in that room or bar who may just give you a chance, but everybody’s got somebody but you. Your friends love you, they see you and they need you, yet in those moments you fail to see good coming your way. An inconvenience, it feels like—maybe you should leave, get a taxi home, and let it be just another night. They all insist on your company being in their presence; they wouldn’t want it any other way, and when the things that obstruct your feelings aren’t there, you forget about that hole in your heart and feel whole for a little while. 

You’re not jealous. Jealousy is hate, anger, and resentment aimed in the direction of someone that you feel doesn’t deserve that one thing — one thing you feel you deserve more than them. The truth is, everyone deserves happiness and love in the eye of a person that exceeds all of our wildest expectations. You don’t want to take that from anyone, no, you’re just lonely, a bright-eyed dreamer, your head in the clouds pondering the ‘what if it worked out?’ scenario. You have a heart of gold, but along with it is a broken compass that no longer knows where it wants to go. Direction is just a word to you, and understanding what it is in practice seems to be slipping from your grasp day by day. People put you on a pedestal, hold you in high esteem, talk you up to others when you walk in a room with your head held high because showing weakness in those moments would be to show the truth, so you lie. You wear the smile and play the game, and as for the inconveniences that have been thrown your way, you laugh them off as if they never bothered you at all.  

Then there was once the love you thought you had, the real reason as to why you feel everything you do now. You felt on top of the world, those moments you spent together in the midst of the madness are still painful when you lay your head down at night. You long for it, a second chance, a stab at romance. Everything was lost before it was had. The memory of her stepping onto that street through the nighttime bustle, like she was the only one on that city corner, hangs in your mind like a lifetime view in a rear view as you drive away yet always look for it. You deserve more—that’s what they say. Stop looking for it, and it will find you, because soulmates are not made, they’re found. So, despite all you feel now, the universe will keep the promise that you’ll be okay, and that your path will be found. Your day will come, your love will come, and when you find that person that ignites every dying ember in your body and soul, you’ll realize your worth, your strength, and all the world more. Love is powerful—it plays a role in every single thing we do. You deserve to have the love of all loves and live the life of all lives —somewhere out there, where the light meets the sea the answers are set for you to see.

So you feel like you have nothing left but turn that corner, leave the rearview picture, and always look ahead—that’s where the greatest things are found.