You already know what you need to do. Let go of that love who’s repeatedly shown you they don’t have your best interests at heart. You know, the one who always says they’ll call back but never does, the one who doesn’t care about your interests but is content to say, “I love you.” Perhaps it’s severing ties with a lifelong friend after realizing you’re on different paths. You’ve had one too many miscommunications. You’re walking on eggshells around each other, and there’s no longer any trust.
You’re putting off the inevitable by looking for advice that corresponds with what you want to hear, but you already know what you need to do. You’re just not ready. When you’re ready, you’ll let go, not before. Forcing to let go before you’re willing to hardly works, no matter how catastrophic the situation. I want you to know that one day you’ll be able to do what you know you need to. You won’t be able to stand the madness of staying in your circumstance any longer.
You’re not ready to let go because you can handle the worst, though you don’t need to.
The environment you’re in is excruciating. Still, you tell yourself it’s better to stay than face the emptiness of being without your person, though it’s not. You’d much rather wear out the heartache. It doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to you. You tell yourself you can handle the dysfunction. You need to exhaust all resources before you leave. You need to know in your mind, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’ve tried everything before giving up.
Others can clearly see that this person isn’t right for you. You, on the other hand, do not see it that way. You remember the happy moments, the laughter, and the intimate conversations. You remember the memories you’ve accumulated over the years. The most dreadful thing you can do, in your opinion, is leave. That would mean abandoning someone you care about. Your caregivers emotionally abandoned you, and you don’t want anyone else to feel that way. This thought is a distortion. You’ll let go when the pain of being with the person you love becomes more significant than the pain of being without them.
You see, being mistreated shouldn’t be your baseline. You believe that being ripped apart into a shell of a person is your only option. You’re the live crab in a boiling pot; the temperature rises and you continue to take the heat until your soul dies. Please understand that you do not have to wait until you reach your breaking point. You do not have to be in constant pain. I’m sure you’re already feeling pressure and guilt around your inability to let go and I’m here to tell you it’s okay. There is nothing wrong with you. You have a heart. I understand why you want to see things through, even if it means suffering.
When you’re ready, you’ll let go, not before. Forcing yourself to let go before you’re ready hardly works, no matter how catastrophic the situation. I want you to know that you will be able to do what you need to one day soon. You won’t be able to stand the torture. You won’t be able to stand feeling unheard and invisible anymore. Please do not stay longer than necessary. In the meantime, keep safe, keep the hope, and ask for support. When you’re ready, you’ll know. When you’re ready, you’ll leave.