Red Flags That He’s A Fling, Not Your Forever
Some relationships aren’t meant to last a lifetime. They might be a blast or they might be a shitstorm, but they’re meant to come to an end at some point. Here are a few red flags that he’s a fling, not your forever person:
You’re not on the same page when it comes to what your relationship means. You don’t need to agree on everything in order to live happily ever after – but you need to agree on what your relationship means and where it’s heading in the future. If you have two totally different visions of how your life together will look, then you need to have a serious conversation or show them the door. You don’t want to give up your dreams for them and they shouldn’t sacrifice theirs for you, either. It might sound romantic now, but it’ll only cause jealousy and resentment down the line. It’s much better to be in a relationship with someone who will let you fully express yourself and your dreams than smother yourself in the wrong relationship.
Unless you’re in the bedroom, you have trouble vibing. If the only time you’re able to have fun together is when you’re hooking up, the relationship is bound to end early. Even though intimacy is important, you need to have a more solid foundation to keep your relationship sturdy. You need to be able to have fun conversations together and serious conversations together. Otherwise, there’s always going to be a barrier between you. After all, if you aren’t comfortable turning to them to express your concerns, the relationship is never going to grow. You’re going to end up stagnant. And that’s a recipe for unhappiness – for both of you.
They aren’t interested in committing themselves to you. They haven’t deleted their dating apps. They haven’t introduced you to their family. They haven’t referred to you as anything other than a friend when you go out in a group. They haven’t posted pictures with only the two of you in frame on Instagram or Facebook. They haven’t put a label on the relationship. They haven’t made plans for more than a few weeks in the future. They’re happy with you now, but they haven’t shown any signs that they’re going to stick around. They haven’t made an actual commitment that you can count on.
They’re hard to reach. You’re always the one initiating the conversations, and it’s hard to get one going. There are some days when they’ll text nonstop and others when they’ll go MIA without any warning or excuse about what they’ve been doing without you. When you want to set plans, you have the same problem. They’re always unavailable, and when they ask you to hang out, it’s usually at the last second. It’s a spur of the moment thing that you aren’t prepared for because they weren’t either. Even though some people lead busy lives, they should at least be clear with you about their schedule. If they are giving fishy excuses about why they bailed on you last weekend and their stories aren’t adding up, they probably aren’t long-term partner material.