Remember: There Is More To Your Life Than A Romantic Relationship

Whether we like to admit it or not, societal expectations play a large role in our lives. We feel it and the pressure that comes along with it, especially in our modern age of social media. If a lot of our peers are getting married or having babies, it’s easy to feel that everyone else is except yourself. A cycle of self-deprecating and self-pitying behaviors starts and loneliness takes center stage. During these times, we have to remember that romantic relationships aren’t the only thing that is meaningful in life. You can find the same feelings of security, joy, and love in other aspects of your life, if only you look hard enough. 

We all have different goals and wants in life, but we all get the same satisfaction in our achievements. The sheer knowledge that you are an independent person who can do whatever the hell you want and is not indebted to anyone is so liberating and makes you feel proud of yourself. You know you worked hard to be where you are in life and you love it. This should be what’s at the core of our individuality. Only good things can come out and get attracted to a strong sense of self and the growth you continue to feed yourself. It’s an all-around healthy well-being and the starting point of happiness. 

Humans are social creatures and we are not limited to romantic relationships. We have our familial ties that aren’t always perfect but have been with us from the start. You have spent a huge chunk of your life with them and in your formative years; they will always be your constants. So go ahead and spend time with them, extract happiness from it. Send them a text and have a family dinner filled with catching up and nostalgic conversations about the good old times. Another tie we have is our chosen family, our friends. They’re the ones who, even though it’s extremely late at night, you don’t want the night to end. You’re out with them or at home hosting a dinner—either way you’re surrounded by people you love and love you back and having a blast. Those moments? It’s happiness with your people. Very few things beat the comforting feeling of laughing and being silly with someone who knows you well and over a long period of time. When you share moments with them, sometimes you just can’t help but say I love you because your interactions are so real and lovely. You smile unconsciously and it’s the biggest one yet. 

Now we go onto the little things. It’s too bad that we actually don’t appreciate the little things until later on when we get older, but dang, they can offer you content and gratitude if only you can recognize them. Here’s some of them: When you wake up naturally without an alarm and you’re having a slow, relaxing morning as the sun rises. It’s the idea of being wrapped around your comfy duvet and waking up with your head against your cozy pillow without the annoying sound of your alarm. How about singing and dancing along to a song and knowing every single word. You feel an out of body experience expressing your feelings with a song. It’s fun, it’s cathartic, it makes for an overall good time.

You know, self-development isn’t only career-related. How about that time you perfected a recipe you wanted to try and make for the first time? You didn’t rely on takeout food that night and you just developed a life skill that would only get better as you do it more. Now that’s satisfying and delicious! Last one, a personal favorite, quiet moments in nature. Nowadays, we’re wired at every level be it in social media or the movies and shows we watch. We’re busy with due dates in school, meetings at work, and errands in our personal life. Sometimes we want to run far away to get the hell out. Nature can offer such solace; it’s a place you go to restart, and when you do, you’re comforted with a wave of peace and gratitude for such a moment. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the thrill and partnership of a romantic relationship as much as the next person. However, it doesn’t need to be the benchmark of your worth and happiness. You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel happy—happiness also lies outside of it too. Don’t find happiness in another person, find it in your individual growth, in your familial relationships and friendships, and in the little moments that hold the most value and get taken for granted. Then at the right time eventually it will come, not out of societal pressure or the need to fill a void, but simply because now it’s your time then you can add another to the list and I hope it’ll be great.