Reminders For Dealing With Toxic Humans Without Falling Apart
Toxic humans are going to make your world miserable. They won’t rest until they feel like they have complete power over you. Since you deserve so much better, here are some reminders for dealing with toxic humans:
It’s not your fault they’re treating you this way.
Even though they want you to believe their behavior is your fault, you can’t buy what they’re selling. You can’t assume that you’re the problem and that they’ve never done a single thing wrong. Toxic humans like to blow your mistakes out of proportion. They like to shift the blame off of themselves in any way possible. Even if you did something wrong, that doesn’t give this person the right to completely disrespect you and treat you like garbage. You deserve better, so don’t stick around out of fear that no one else is going to love you. The next person might love you right.
You can’t save this person.
You can’t reason with this person. You can’t make this person understand where you’re coming from. If you’ve already tried to sit down and have mature conversations with them, and they refuse to listen, then you’ve done everything you can do. You’ve exhausted your options. Sometimes, they only thing you can do is separate yourself from this person. Remove yourself from their world because no matter how much you love them, it isn’t enough to convince them to change. They have to make that decision on their own. It has nothing to do with you. You are not responsible for what path they choose to take.
Most situations aren’t black and white.
Most people have good qualities and bad qualities – but you can’t let the good distract you from the bad. If this person has been crossing unforgivable boundaries, if they’ve been hurting you in completely unacceptable ways, then it doesn’t matter how many sweet things they’ve done for you in the past. Their good doesn’t cancel out the bad. You have to ask yourself whether you want to be with this person, even at their worst. You have to ask yourself whether you deserve better – because you definitely do.
The nasty sides of them are the real them.
You can’t assume that the person who treats you well and spoils you rotten is the real them and then turn around and make excuses about how they’re not themselves when they scream and harass you. It doesn’t matter if their mean side only comes out when they’re drunk or high or had a rough day. Both sides are the real them. They’re responsible for their behavior, no matter what caused it. You can’t keep making excuses for them because you’re scared to lose them. You need to see them for who they really are.
It’s better to be alone than to deal with toxicity.
You might be terrified to leave them because you want someone by your side to love and support you, but has this person really been providing you with those things? Have they been rising to your expectations? If they are making you miserable, you need to leave. Being on your own again is scary, but it’s so much better than being in a toxic relationship.