You don’t want to break a heart on accident. You don’t want to string someone along and make them think that there’s a chance you’ll live happily ever after together when you already know that they aren’t your type. Here are a few signs that you’re the heartbreaker and you don’t even realize it:
You’re indifferent to the idea of seeing them again. It’s not that you dread hanging out with them – but you aren’t excited to hang out with them either. If your schedule is free, you figure you might as well spend some time with them. You might as well go out. After all, they do all the planning, so all you have to do is say yes. They make it easy for you. But if hanging out with them was an inconvenience, it would be another story. You wouldn’t go out of your way to see them. You only see them when it fits comfortably into your schedule.
You get uneasy when they talk about how much they like you. Even though compliments are always nice to hear, you feel a little uncomfortable when they start going on about how perfect you are and how much they like you. You know that your feelings aren’t as strong as theirs, so you feel guilty about letting them fawn over you. And when they bring up the future, you want to slam the brakes. You quickly change the subject because you’re pretty sure your idea of the future doesn’t look anything like their idea of the future.
You only answer their texts when they initiate the conversation. When they send you a message, you feel special. You feel a little ego boost. But when they aren’t around, you pretty much forget that they exist. It never crosses your mind to send the first message. You only interact with them when they’re the one tracking you down. Otherwise, you can go days (or even weeks) without speaking. And you won’t even realize until they point it out.
You’re doing all the talking in the conversations. They keep asking you questions to learn more about you. But you never ask the same questions in return. You use them as a soundboard to hear yourself talk. It’s a one-sided conversation every single time – and not because they’re only giving you one word answers. It’s because you aren’t bothering to ask them how they’re feeling or what’s been going on in their lives. You like talking to them because they give you attention – but you never give them the same attention back.
You can’t name much about them. They know the names of your favorite characters on your favorite TV shows – but you can’t remember the names of their parents or what they do for a living. You aren’t remembering any important details because you aren’t really invested when they’re speaking. You’re simply waiting for your turn to speak. Everything that they say goes in one ear and out the other. You don’t know much about them because you don’t care to know much about them. You don’t mind knowing them on a superficial level because your feelings aren’t there.