We do it to ourselves in literally EVERY aspect of our lives. We create these relationships with people, whether they’re love interests, friends, family, or work acquaintances. We put our time, energy, and feelings into these relationships, and in the end, we end up breaking our own hearts.
Romantic Relationships. This heartbreak hurts and it hurts to our core. We feel this hurt throughout our entire body, and it’s something that takes time to recover from. We gave this person a piece of us. We told them that we loved them and we helped build them into the person that they now are. We watched as they told us we weren’t good enough. We listened to them tell us that we deserved to be cheated on. We heard them when they said they didn’t see a future with us but continued to use us for our body. We allowed them into our hearts. We allowed them to have our bodies. We kept letting them back in time and time again. We believed that one day they would see that we were there the whole time. We listened to their problems and helped solve them. We were there every time they needed us and are guilty of it still. It’s time to stop breaking our own heart and realize that this person is never going to want us in all of the ways we thought they were worthy of having us in the first place.
Friendships. This is one of the hardest heartbreaks. We spend our entire lives building friendships and pour so much of ourselves into these relationships. When these have a bad fallout or a disagreement where one’s loyalty or true friendship is questioned, it’s hard to come back from that. It’s hard to forget the terrible things that we said. It’s hard to pretend that what once was can be again. Your heart literally breaks into a million pieces, because at one point, this person was your soulmate, your person. You and this person understood each other like none other. You and this person had been through so much together. You and this person were each other’s rocks and helped one another stand tall when it felt impossible. You’ve been through middle school, high school, losing a parent, losing grandparents, breakups, pregnancies, miscarriages, toxic relationships, parent divorces, etc. When a friendship that took so long to build collapses into a million pieces and the effort just doesn’t seem to be there to rebuild and your feelings aren’t considered, that’s true heartbreak.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Stop making excuses for shitty people treating you like shit. Stop making excuses for people that you go above and beyond for when they don’t take a second to think about how you don’t actually HAVE to do any of it but that you choose to because you love them. Stop being there for the people who aren’t there for you. Stop being the one constant thing in their life and let them figure it out on their own.
Stop breaking your own heart and expecting from people what you give to them.