Mikhail Nilov

4 Things You Should Never Do During The Talking Stage

Ah, the infamous and dreaded Talking Stage, a time of limitless confusion. The talking stage is an undefined phase in a relationship in which no labels have been set but there is definite romantic intrigue. Think lots of flirting, mostly through texting, FaceTimes, and phone calls.

People in a talking stage will also see one another in person, usually in the form of “hangouts” that are really dates without actually being called dates but are definitely date-like and flirtatious and they might even hook up. But if you ask either party what they are in regards to one another, they will most likely say something along the lines of, “We’re just talking.”

Feeling confused and stressed yet? Great! Then you understand what a talking stage is.

If you’re in the midst of a talking stage, all of this ambiguity makes it incredibly difficult to navigate. However, there are a number of things you should definitely never do during a talking stage in order to preserve your sanity, save yourself time, and approach the situation in the most healthy manner you can.

Here are four things you should never do during the talking stage.

1. Don’t spend the night.

Don’t spend the night during a talking stage because it can make things feel more intimate and progressed than they probably are. Always head home after seeing one another. This isn’t about playing hard to get or games or anything like that. Rather, it is about protecting yourself and setting firm boundaries. It’s about keeping your expectations at an appropriate height.

2. Don’t talk more than three months.

When it comes to dating today, enter every romantic situation following the Three-Month Rule. And what is the Three-Month Rule, you ask? The Three-Month Rule is essentially just setting a deadline for how much time you’re willing to invest in someone before committing or calling it quits. At around three months, you should be at least having the conversation about what direction you both are headed in when it comes to one another. If they refuse to establish any speed, if they dodge the discussion altogether, this means they aren’t in it for the long run. And if that’s not what you want, it’s best to walk away. On that note…

3. Don’t say you want to be casual if you don’t want to be casual.

Be honest about what you’re looking for, both with the other person and yourself. If you are looking to find something serious, approach it as if you’re looking to find something serious. Be open about that. This doesn’t mean you want to propose to them on text three. It just means dating with intention…or talking with intention. Steer the conversations in the direction you hope to head in. Be yourself. Hope for the best.

4. Don’t follow them on social media just yet.

Keep a bit of distance between the person you’re talking with and yourself, especially online. It can become easy to get a little antsy if they haven’t replied to your text but watched your Instagram Story. Save yourself the overthinking and just avoid following them on their socials until you know they’re here to stay a little longer.